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This monday night there is a great phonecircle for people wishing to adopt, or for those who have adopted. It will help you veRY MUCH with what you are dealing with. It's an awesome community of women. Please joing us!!! You can find the Fertileheart community online. Take a look at the site. I found the fertileheart tools to be extremely helpful in my journey towards our child. You are not alone in feeling the way you do, and this community can help you to talk about it comfortably with a lot of compassion.