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I was recently informed that my niece had her son taken away and by law, as a family member, we were notificed that the baby may need fostering and that we should notify the social worker if we could do it. I did and said we could. She is about 4 hours away and right now they have the baby in a foster home close to her because she get visitation. Completely understandable.
I was originally told that she would have 6 months to get her act together or they would be terminating her rights. Well now they are considering terminating her rights early. My problem with all this is that I don't think they have told her any of this. She has no idea that my husband and I have been approached about adopting him. It just seems like they are keeping it from her unfairly. Why wouldn't they say to her, "look, you aren't making the progress you should be making and we are serioulsy considering terminating your rights early. In fact, we are lining up possible adoptive parent and your aunt and her husband are one of those couples." It only seems fair.
The baby has some health issues and he is having some doctor appointments and when I first talked with SW she had said if you wanted to adopt him we would expect that you attend. When I called her to say we would adopt and when and where are the appointments she totally back down and basically said she didn't want us to go because of how my niece might react. This is why I am pretty sure no one has told her.
My question about all this is, is it normal for a birth parent to not know exactly where they stand like this. It almost seems like they are going behind her back. I know absolutely nothing about any of this stuff so I'm not sure what is normal and what isn't. I suppose every SW and every country and every case for that matter is handled differently. I just don't want her to feel like I was the one going behind her back to take her kid or something.
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The only time I have seen CPS keep a parent in the dark when they were considering TPR waas when the parent was suicidal. They were afraid to bring it up for fear that it would send her over the edge. Plus, it was just at the consideration stage. They did end up telling her later on - she was no longer suicidal, but was not working her case plan at all. She eventaully turned her life around, and was reunited.
Are there any issues with your niece that giving this type of info to her might be more detrimental?
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That seems odd to me. In our situations, the parents knew everything (even the parent who was high on meth, ran away and did nothing in her case plan). I would call the case worker and ask her if the parents know the plan, and if not, why not. There might be a good reason, but unless there is, she should know everything.
Who contacted you about your nephew? How did cw know you were family? The niece may have given your name;maybe they are not being honest with you either-attend anything you can for him; the current fp's may be interested in adopting & your being kept in the dark & they are not told there is family interested.
Unless the CW has told you out right that they have not informed the Mom, then any information you get from her is suspect. It's probable that they have informed her of her lack of progress and other info, but she chooses to ignore it. They also need to know before hand that an adoptive home is ready should they proceed with TPR.
There is a possibility it is for my nieces's safety but I don't believe she is suicidal. She is more of an anger person that will lash out and be destructive. I do know that his current foster parents are interested in adoption and she was upfront with me and said something about not burning that bridge in case my husband and I fell through which I completely understand. But the social worker has known for over a month that they were interested in adopting him and I don't think my niece knows that even. So it isn't like this is new because of me. I'm not even a factor in them terminating her rights and I don't think the foster parents are either. That is what has me so confused. Regardless of who is going to adopt him or whether he would stay in foster care, it seems like she should be aware of how close she is to having her rights terminated.
So far though, the sw has given me no other reasons to think she is doing anything wrong so I'm not going to go and make waves with her. I am really just doing my best to learn as much as I can about this whole process and figure out what is and isn't normal and when I need to worry and when I don't. This is just so unlike anything I have ever had to deal with and the people here have been so gracious with their knowledge. Thanks goodness for the internet.
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I am sorry I am a little confused.
Is SHE telling you she doesnt know anything about it?
If they are close to TPR, the judge would have outlied the case plan to her many times now, and the consequences of not following that case plan.
This seems suspect to me. She should know these things. She might not want to tell you she knows she hasn't met the reqirements is what I am thinking. Sorry if I am misunderstanding something.
No. My niece and I have very little contact. I am just suspecting that she isn't being told EVERYTHING. I know a case plan was laid out for her and I know she has made very little progress. What is new is that they were considering doing the TPR earlier than what they had originally said and that is what she hasn't been informed of. Since he has been in foster care, new information came to light about her neglecting his health problems worse than what they had originally thought. This is causign them to rethink the situation and her ever having the ability to parent him. Between that and he little progress and not doing what she should be doing is what is making them want to do the TPR early. This is directly what SW told me.
He has a very important appointment next week and the sw doesn't want me there and I'm assuming it is because my niece will be there and there is no way to explain my presence. The SW and the GAL are going to be visiting us after that appointment though and I plan on just asking her about it. It is possible that she knows by now but that the SW just didn't want to bring up my involvment quite yet.
UPDATE - Well she was told yesterday that they were going to start the TPR process AND that we were interested in adopting the baby. I think they were just waiting to make sure we didn't have 3 heads or something. And I'm sure all the bad parents in my family raised some flags about our abilites as well since it was my brother that had his rights to her terminated. It sounds like she is gearing up to fight it though so we have a long road ahead.
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