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Does anyone have any experience you can share with regard to drug addicted birthparents? We have had our FD since she was born. Her father was in prison on drug charges. He has had a lengthy history (about 8 years) of drug charges, among others. He was incarcerated for two years. He just got out about five months ago and, though our FD's goal was changed to adoption last summer, they are now working toward RU. We do not agree with this because of the bio-dad's long history of drugs and arrests, we feel it should take longer than a few months to prove that he is going to stay clean and out of trouble. The agency does not drug test him and since he served his maximum prison sentence, he isn't on probation. So nobody is checking to see that he's staying off drugs. They feel since he was incarcerated for two years and couldn't do drugs (at least not theoretically -- but I'm not naive enough to think that inmates don't ever get their hands on drugs), that he is clean. But I have my doubts. I thought a person had to make a conscious decision to get off drugs and seek help to truly overcome addiction -- not just be forced to go "cold turkey" by being incarcerated. It doesn't help me to know that he is involved with the same group of friends he had before he went in and that at least a fourth of his friends also have drug charges against them. They have started to send our FD on unsupervised visits with the bio-dad for a few hours at a time and it makes me worried sick while she's gone. We have retained our own attorney, but I know they are going to argue that we don't have standing to file for termination of parental rights. And it depends who you ask and what you read -- the law seems to be a gray area in my state in that regard. And, to further complicate things, we have already adopted her older sister, so moving her would mean separating the siblings.
Please share your experience with the likelihood or lack thereof of overcoming an addiction while incarcerated.
Thanks
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I may not be the best person to ask, I am no professional, but I know it takes more than incarceration to change a drug addiction. My BEST friend for years went to prison for a full year and was clean. She came out sure she was going to remain clean. Fast forward to 6 months later when i walked into her house for a surprise visit and she was shooting up. I do not talk to her anymore but I do know she is still in and out of legal trouble and on drugs. In large part because she wasn't willing to walk away from the friends and significant others who encouraged her poor choices. I hope I'm not right but I grew up around addicts... and had a few friends that have made these choices... if you don't change your environment among other things it is very hard to change your path....
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Why do you think they're not drug testing him?
Every case I've ever been involved with has had some element of substance abuse surrounding it. Every case having clean UA's was a requirement. Every case I've ever heard of EVER having clean UA's was a requirement.
I simply cannot believe they're not doing that. Is there any chance you're mistaken? Do you have a copy of the case plan?
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chevyjewel
Why do you think they're not drug testing him?
Every case I've ever been involved with has had some element of substance abuse surrounding it. Every case having clean UA's was a requirement. Every case I've ever heard of EVER having clean UA's was a requirement.
I simply cannot believe they're not doing that. Is there any chance you're mistaken? Do you have a copy of the case plan?
I do not have a copy of it, but our lawyer requested copies of it and is waiting for them. The agency does not give us copies of anything like that or share that type of information with us, but I do know that the only time the caseworker ever knew that bio-mother was back on drugs was when she tested positive at probation and was reincarcerated. It is sad how very behind the times our agency seems to be here. The only thing they have required of him, according to the caseworker, is that he complete a parenting class and attend drug and alcohol counseling. Well, birthmom attended drug and alcohol counseling between all her positive drug tests and incarcerations, so I'm not sure how effective the counseling was. No offense to the professionals, but I think when it's ordered, perhaps the parents not being "on board" effects the outcome.
It's just so frustrating to me that they seem so willing to deem the father fit and ready to parent in such a short time despite his lengthy track record. I don't want to wish him any ill will, but my first concern is for this beautiful little child that could well be put in harm's way.
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Similar situation here - the agency does not do random drug drops at all. They told the bio parents (I was sitting right there & heard it) to go to the urgent care clinic at least once a week & do a drug drop. Now if it were me, I'd do my drops when I figure I'd have the best chance of being clean... Of course, I've heard from other sources that bio mom couldn't pass an employment drug screen due to urine that was "too cold" (i.e. probably not hers) so they are using all the tricks in the book. Scares me to death that they'll convince the right people they are clean & get fs back.
I don't have any answers to OP - just wanted to let you know you aren't alone. As for experience with users, I know someone who is a counselor in a prison & uses some examples from our case (absent names or classified info) when teaching the inmate classes & so far all of the inmates have agreed that with the situation we are dealing & the types of drugs we're talking, recovery doesn't happen. These are guys who do have experience with it from a firsthand basis.
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In my experience( I'm not a professional in this area), drug addicts don't change. Addiction is so difficult to overcome and stay that way, that most people can not do it without true intervention that takes them away and out of the environment they have lived in. This means leaving everyone behind and starting over somewhere else. Just my opinion from my personal experiences with addicts.
I am super surprised they are not requiring drug testing. In my county, even if they don't know about drug use in the family, they do drug tests anyway. So sorry for you and the baby because even though the Dad loves her, going back into that kind of environment is not good. I hope that your attorney can help you.
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the only time i ever knew that my kids' mom was tested was when i went to court. that info is confidential and we have no right to it. i didn't even know "officially" that UA was part of her case plan.
BTW, both mom and dad in our case were users. he's in prison, she's not. she was arrested with pcp in her pocket while the kids were with me. she may or may not have been tested then, but i still did't know. what i found out, though, was that over 15 months she'd taken only a couple of UAs. all of those she missed were presumptive positives.
it just wasn't my business.
it is possible that the cw is not telling you because it would be a breach of confidentiality. i really can't imagine it not being a part of the case plan considering the history.
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Not a professional drug counselor, but lots of experience with drug using parents -- change is HARD. People can change, but they have to want to and they have to work at it!
Dad should still be on probation and he should still be getting drug tested each time he reports. If he is still hanging around the same set of friends, he is using again or he will be. That's a fact.
As for the drug and alcohol counseling - what a joke! Spiderman's bios didn't even go. They just got a list of the AA meetings and the names of the conductors. Then they filled them in and initialed each other's attendance sheets. AA may work for people who are motivated to go, but not for people who are "sentenced" to go!
If you have a lawyer, have him ask for drug testing results from probation and ask for a copy of the attendance sheets. See if you can get attendance confirmed -- or not!
Spiderman's biodad got busted when he signed himself as attending a noon AA meeting at a local church -- it was a "Ladies Only" group! lol
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greenrobin
it is possible that the cw is not telling you because it would be a breach of confidentiality.
I don't remember where you're from...
But anyhoo that's totally not how things are here so it must vary from state to state and maybe even agency to agency.
Not only do I get copies of the case plan but I'm kept up to date on how it's progressing (or not). I'm made aware of UA results frequently including what they were found positive for...how a parent is doing during their rehab stints (not just via workers but also from the parents themselves as I usually form a sort of relationship with them)...how court proceedings have gone and where judge thinks all is headed...everything is disclosed. Part of the case plan is a write up of why the kids were taken into care, I'll usually be privy to information there that I don't even WANT to know, including specifics on domestic issues, BAL levels, how many needles were found on who, how they responded when they found out their kids were being taken away, previous cases and criminal history, where a parent is working, family members etc...it's crazy the detail they include and pass on to me.
Although the details are sometimes mind blowing (and often times cringe inducing) ultimately it does help me to care for the kids in my care far better because I have a better understanding of how they could have possibly been affected, so I'm glad it's available.
I think that sort of stuff should be available to ALL foster parents and don't think it's a breech of confidentiality at all.
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I’m so sorry for the situation you’re in. The system is broken and flawed, hurting so many innocent lives. My husband and I are foster parents and we have experience with Bio parents actively using drugs. The agency our FD goes through allows the Bio parents to refuse UAs and continues to allow visits with our FD. It is in the court documents that our Bio Mom was tested positive, as well as the Bio dad, and now they are refusing UAs. Still, the caseworkers continue visits without a care for the child’s safety. It’s a horrible thing, endangering a child’s life. Hopefully your situation works out for the best for you guys and your FD. Much love.
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It could be that CPS is waiting to see what he does. They have to work towards RU but they may realize bio dad won’t step up.
graciej
Does anyone have any experience you can share with regard to drug addicted birthparents? We have had our FD since she was born. Her father was in prison on drug charges. He has had a lengthy history (about 8 years) of drug charges, among others. He was incarcerated for two years. He just got out about five months ago and, though our FD's goal was changed to adoption last summer, they are now working toward RU. We do not agree with this because of the bio-dad's long history of drugs and arrests, we feel it should take longer than a few months to prove that he is going to stay clean and out of trouble. The agency does not drug test him and since he served his maximum prison sentence, he isn't on probation. So nobody is checking to see that he's staying off drugs. They feel since he was incarcerated for two years and couldn't do drugs (at least not theoretically -- but I'm not naive enough to think that inmates don't ever get their hands on drugs), that he is clean. But I have my doubts. I thought a person had to make a conscious decision to get off drugs and seek help to truly overcome addiction -- not just be forced to go "cold turkey" by being incarcerated. It doesn't help me to know that he is involved with the same group of friends he had before he went in and that at least a fourth of his friends also have drug charges against them. They have started to send our FD on unsupervised visits with the bio-dad for a few hours at a time and it makes me worried sick while she's gone. We have retained our own attorney, but I know they are going to argue that we don't have standing to file for termination of parental rights. And it depends who you ask and what you read -- the law seems to be a gray area in my state in that regard. And, to further complicate things, we have already adopted her older sister, so moving her would mean separating the siblings.
Please share your experience with the likelihood or lack thereof of overcoming an addiction while incarcerated.
Thanks
Like
Share