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We have been fostering our little girl for 8 months, and her goal is reunification with mom. We have started to develop a relationship with mom, meeting with her in addition to her regularly scheduled weekly visits, texting and calling, etc. She is very young, and we have tried to be as supportive as possible, giving her ideas and encouraging her to follow through with her plan. Right now, she is hoping for the judge to overrule the fact that DSS won't be recommending reunification yet. But a permanency hearing is on the horizon in the next 2-3 months.
We are living on the edge of our seat hoping (and feeling guilty for it) she ends up staying with us. But we are building a relationship with mom and have told her that we'll always be here for her, that she can always call us to babysit or for advice or whatever. So we are bracing ourselves for her return (the worst part is the unpredictability bc there was supposed to be a transition period, but mom hasn't done all that needed to be done so DSS isn't allowing weekend visits yet, and the judge can just send her home on the day of her next hearing July 2). The only thing helping us get through this is the idea that we will still get to see her after she's back with mom.
Any advice on the best way to communicate our desire to stay in her life, to be as supportive to her and mom as possible, and to help prepare us for a sudden return home?
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Hi K,
I am in the same boat. We fostered our Little Missy for 8 months, and she was reunited on Wednesday. I just told the Dad that if he needed anything, to let me know, that I was happy to babysit/help out if he needed me. I also provided lots of instructions, a baby book, and other things to help him and his family.
He texted me the entire first night to keep me updated and let me know she was all right, and he gave me his Mom's number (who babysits when he works nights).
LOL I don't expect him to keep in touch every single day, but I sure was looking at my phone constantly for something on Day 2! I know they have to bond and of course don't expect to hear anything for a while. In my head. ;-)
Anyway, I think you should just be open, keeping in mind that there is a fine line between being there and being used. Other foster parents let me know their experiences and how to tell the difference (example: you have the kids every single weekend so that Bios can party kid-free).
Good luck! It sure is hard. I'm crying in my coffee every day.
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thanks, happymommy - I wonder, if the bios ask you to babysit every weekend so they can party, is this something you can bring up to the social worker? Might that be grounds for repeat removal? Because at this point, I'd gladly babysit V every weekend. My concern is that bmom is planning to join the military, so she won't be staying local :(
Wow, I'm surprised they are returning V. Who will be watching V when she's gone? In that case i agree, watching her so often would be good. Maybe youcangentky approach bmom about an arrangement? Or maybe cw can feel her out on letting you keep her until she gets out?On your question, yes, I was told that by keeping in touch, occassionally things come out which youreoigated to tell sw. In one ase, children were remove and fp adopted.