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awwww....thanks lakin!!!!!*hugs*i sure needed that today....and i need reminders of WHY i have two heathen little 4 year olds running around and a 10 week old grumpy pants screaming his head off.it's cuz i love em....right???????i ask for girls....constantly i ask for girls....and they keep sending me these rotten icky little boys.but thank you again.....i am really hoping this goes smoothly. right now i am dealing with some tremendous guilt because i know right now he is in a place where its not best to see his family and my heart is breaking for them. but we had a therapist, who also happens to be a dcs case manager, tell us that with reactive attachment disorder, it is SO important for him to form an attachment to me right now and break the ties at least for the time being and revisit communication with family when he is a little older. seeing them now would ruin the fragile bond that has finally begun to take hold. i knew he loved us, but i really do feel knowing that he will not have to leave has made more of a difference to him than i ever thought it would.he keeps saying he doesn't want to see his family anymore and that he is mad at them, but i know he will change in the future. i told him its important to understand that just because this is his "forever" home, it doesn't mean he can't love them too. i explained he never has to choose between me, his foster brother and his other family because we all love him.unfortunately, i don't think he got the same words from some of his family, because he came home a few weeks ago saying his brother told him i wasn't his "real" mommy and jaiden wasn't his "real" brother. he also said repeatedly that since we weren't his "real" family we couldn't love him.so i don't know....maybe he is mad because he feels hurt and confused by what was said. i know the past few months have been really hard on him as he has become more and more aware of his divided loyalties. i always have told him he NEVER has to choose, but if its not being reciprocated i guess its hard for him not to believe it, you know?i just don't know....all i know is that since telling him he could stay here forever....this kid has literally changed overnight. my roommate took him to mcdonald's this morning and he told her he was a little sad because "my mommy didn't come with us." she told him i was still at home and he asked if i would be there when he got home and was she sure i wasn't going away. she told him of course and he said ok, but that he just wanted to look out the window for a while. so i know he's thinking about some things and when he is ready, we are ready to listen. i really have to thank my roommate for always being their buddy and their friend and while i am often jealous of the role she gets to have as i get to be the mean mommy (at least to them cuz apparently i am the only one on the planet that makes them follow the "rules of the house") she really is always there for them to talk to when they need a friend.i see i have rambled for far too long, lol. but i was so surprised to see your post that it kinda made me go off on a tiny bit of a rant.i will keep you posted on everything. as always, you rock, lady. hopefully i will get you see you again soon and not just chit chat on the phone! :grouphug:
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