Yet another FB question

You can make groups, or just adjust your settings when you post something you don't want her to see, so that she can't see it... it's a bit of a pain though.

I made a seperate FB account for Ella for her birth family and their friends to keep up with her. I find it's easier this way then worrying about what I'm going to post on mine and if it will offend anyone or having to reject/ignore them on mine. You can always add her to yours and change the settings. You can control what she sees and what she doesn't. If you're not comfortable with either option I'd just let her know you're not comfortable adding her to your facebook at this time and that it's nothing against her. Just be honest.

I can see how that would be awkward. Maybe you could just tell her that you're hardly ever on FB. (But wait a couple of weeks before responding).

You could say, "People have different reasons for being on Facebook. I got on facebook when we were planning our high school reunion and mostly use it to keep in touch with old friends/family like that." Can she email you back when you send pictures? In other words, is there a two-way line of communication? If so, tell her the email contact works really good for you and she should feel free to email you whenever (or whatever you are comfortable with).I wouldn't feel bad about not accepting anyone's friend request that didn't meet the purpose for which you are on there.I'd send her an email regarding just that issue but follow it up quickly with the fun pictures. Good luck.

I would just not acknowledge it. If she brings it up just tell her how you're never on and didn't even realize she did that.BUT if the other relative is going to tell her - you might want to block the other relative from seeing things so she doesn't tell Bmom you lied.

Is she in contact with the aunt who is your facebook friend? Is it possible that she could even look at your page with the aunt's permission/account?I am an adult adoptee so my perspective is different. I have found, though, that being considerate yet direct works best in the long run. If anyone catches someone in a lie, esp. in important relationships, it tarnishes the relationship for lifetime. Even if that person never says a word.My parents were straightforward about me being adopted. It never was an issue between us then. This is good. My mother of birth has been kind and straightforward with me from the beginning of our relationship 3 (?!) years ago, and we have a great friendship today. Honesty, even on painful topics, makes a difference in the long haul.Are there other relatives you have turned down? Perhaps your motherinlaw, for example (LOL!)? This type of example could "gentle" the refusal.The relationship between families in open adoptions seems special and unique. I think it's cool and think I would have liked that as a kid. But it is different and I think it's okay to have your limits and to say so, and for the birth family too.Again, good luck.

Same thing happened to me last week. Just change your privacy settings and she will think you are not on FB very much, because there's hardly any activity. That's what I did.

Truth be told, I am hardly on there and I post about every 2 months. My life just really isn't that interesting. I don't want to lie to her. I think that I will eventually send her an email explaining that while here sister is on there, it is mostly my high school and college friends and I just don't go there very often which is the truth.

I would be honest and up-front with her and definitely wouldn't just ignore the request. She's going to remember she sent it and wonder what happened. I think it's totally acceptable to reply to requests with a message that says you prefer to use FB only for certain circles of friends/family and that you'd rather continue your communication only in other venues. Then again, I don't like to feel ignored - seems disrespectful to me. Best wishes -