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I'm a step mother of a child under 12 years of age, whom I'm trying to adopt. I have been the only mother this child knows for half her life (3 years.) She has little to no memory of her biological mother, but she knows she left and didn't come back. The bio-mom left in early 2007, leaving the country taking her son with her (My step daughters *half* brother) to meet a man she had met on the internet. She had no contact with the child and did not pay child support. June 2008 my husband was grant full custody.
She was kicked out of Canada and then made it back into this state about May 2009, which is the closest date we can PROVE she was back and still did nothing. UNTILL....
August 2009 she was served with a court date for owing child support. 2 weeks later (September) she filed for modifying the parenting plan. (In response, clearly) But she continued to have more children! Every child from a different man. We have been to many court dates over her owing child support since but no date was ever set for the parenting plan. She has not attempted to contact her daughter and has only paid $40 monthly payments once in a while. The child has lived in the same home with the same address which she has all her little life, and the bio-mom has always known where the child has lived. The bio-mom owes 5k in arrears and there is Contempt court date scheduled for July 29th for child support againnnn. She will not sign consent for adoption, so it will be contested on the 9th.
This is not the first time the bio-mom has left the child and took off, just the longest. 3 years this little girl has been MY little girl. I did it all. In my HEART this is my daughter. And to her *I* am her REAL mommy.
Everything said here can and will be proven in court on the 9th but I would like some of your opinions on how it will go.
I feel that if the bio-mom was a man this would be cake if she was a man and crack the whip like they do all the bio-dads. If you imagine this story as this women being the bio-dad, I would have never gotten a negitive reaction. Because shes a women I feel that they make take it easier on her. It is OBVIOUS to me everyone completely frowns upon me trying to take rights from women who proves to not be a real mother. Too many cases of SAME events but with a bio-father's children being adopted by step-fathers, and very few of bio-mothers.
I haven't mention all the nut job things shes done, I've just stuck to the facts, just like it will be in court.
I have done loads of research to try to comfort and calm myself and odds are looking wonderful sometimes but terminating a bio-parents rights is a big deal. I have learned contested step-parent adoptions are 50% of the USA's adption cases so it's extremely common and easier then all other adoption cases.
Also, the state law for abandoment is seeing you child (or TRYING TO counts also) and SUPPORTING the child *with-in* your means for 6 months or longer. (3 years beats that all to hell) We are proving she is not supporting her with-in her means nor seen her or tried seeing her for 3 years.
Do you think adoption will be granted?
I did get a response on yahoo answers saying its NOT in the kids best interest for the mother to be stripped of her rights so I guess she should keep her rights incase one day she actually wants to see her daughter in the future? Leave her with abandoment issues again that I have to clean up AGAIN like I did the last time, with the help of psycologists? And when she leaves her again like the last 2 times? It is really her RIGHT to torment and distroy this wonderfull little girl so many times in her short life? If it is her RIGHT to do this, I hope to strip her of this right.
Please explain why she should NOT be stipped of her rights if you do indeed feel so, so I can understand your point of veiw.
This women has no clue who this child is, she only was around her for on and off her first three years of life, what she likes, her grades in school, never taught her to read, tie shoes, swim, and never TRIED to see her.
I'd love to have some opinions from those who have real opinions.
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I don't have any advice for your issue, but I just wanted to say something about Yahoo! Answers.Many of them on Yahoo! Answers Adoption (if that is the section you were in) are either anti-adoption or for adoption in the rarest and most specific cases (which, to them, is almost never). Many of them, though they won't admit it, have had issues stemming from their own adoptions and see only the negative aspects of adoption, the process, and the people involved.I just wanted to let you know that this is a much better place to get open, honest advice which may or may not always be what you want to hear, but will always come from the heart and most always in a respectful way.I'm sorry I can't give you an opinion on your situation (which sounds very difficult to endure), I just wanted to share what I know of Yahoo! Answers Adoption and welcome you to Adoption.com...the people here (from all sides of the triad) are great people with great insight!
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I feel if you take off and leave your one child while taking the other answers the question as to where her heart lays. She should have her rights stripped. She disguarded your daughter like an old rag to run after someone who probably did the same thing to her after a bit. If she really wanted this girl in her life she for one wouldn't have run off from her and two would have kept in touch and came to see her once she got back. I think if you have a good lawyer he or she will stress all these points to the court. The courts now days sees a lot of dead beat parents that it really doesn't matter if they are a man or women.
I wish you all the luck hun. Don't ever give up on your girl you have now. she has had enough give up on her as is.