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Quesita
Liana was born when I was 44, and came home when I was 45. I'm 48 now, and seriously considering a second child. Rather than an infant, I am looking into adopting a toddler, 1 or 2 years younger than Liana. I LOVE being a mom. You know, so many of the parents of kids in Liana's preschool get babysitters and go out and do exciting adult things. I've DONE exciting adult things. I cannot think of anything I would rather do on a weekend than go to a zoo or a kids' museum. I haven't seen Avatar yet, (I'll see it some night after Liana has gone to sleep), but I LOVED Toystory. Ok. I miss SCUBA diving on vacations. But make-your-own-ice-cream-sundays are fun too. :) I used to shoot a mean game of pool. Last week on vacation, I learned to play miniature golf. Liana is a natural. My back isn't great, and I can't carry her on my shoulders at parades. And maybe I don't "run" as much as I used to. But other than that, I can't think of anything a younger parent can do that I can't. I have more patience than I did when I was younger. I'm more financially secure. And I don't have the restlessness that I had well into my late 30's. I'm glad I became a parent later in life than most. I have DONE so many things, that all I want to do now is focus on being a mom.
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My kids and I have been discussing this and think that we'd like to foster or adopt kids about their age or at the least age four, so that they can participate in all our activities. The kids have a few more reasons, but I'm really hoping to be done with raising kids by the time I'm 45 so that I'll still have a prayer of getting the doctorate I really really want. After reading this thread, I feel like I'm doing things backwards. ;p
RhondaBear
My kids and I have been discussing this and think that we'd like to foster or adopt kids about their age or at the least age four, so that they can participate in all our activities. The kids have a few more reasons, but I'm really hoping to be done with raising kids by the time I'm 45 so that I'll still have a prayer of getting the doctorate I really really want. After reading this thread, I feel like I'm doing things backwards. ;p
This thread has really helped me to "loosen up" for lack of a better term... I'll do my second adoption when the time is right, and not a second before. At this point I'm feeling a little flexible up to 45. As one poster mentioned, I do have a LOT more patience than I had in my 20's and 30's. I've done all the adult things that I wanted to do. I do like to travel and DD and I have started doing a bit of that... I had severe anxiety about traveling alone with her. The idea of keeping track of her, luggage and dealing with various customer service personnel petrified me. Just last night I was envisioning a little boy to add to our family :)
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I'm currently considering this too. I'm 42, single, and have limited family backup. I'm doing straight Adopt from Foster Care. Because I want my daughter to be through college before I retire, but still young enough to bound with me as Mom... I've requested a girl ages 4-12 with only mild problems. But get this my agency is telling me I'm being to picky. I've been attempting to adopt for :hissy: two yrs. (18 months to get approved and 6 months waiting :hissy: ) Needless to say I've had agency problems.
Why do I keep forgetting to come back to this forum? This is a great thread. I've been wondering exactly the same thing. I've considering adopting again when J is around 2 (he's 4 months now), or when he's 4. The age requirement that many agencies have of no more than 45 years difference b/t the amom and the child does give me pause, though, that I better not wait very long (I'm almost 42. Lord - that felt weird even typing that -- I don't feel a day over 30. Although I'm not sure what 42 is supposed to feel like!) I forgot about that age difference rule. It's so hard to time it, though -- as we all know, it's not like you can decide, then have your baby the next day, the next week, or even the next month. It could be a year or more. You have to start the process early. But then again, sometimes situations come up so quickly -- you could start the process then be called the very next week. It's really tough to decide what to do.
Hi, I haven't been on this board for years, but sure loved all the info I learned. Since I was here, I have successfully adopted an AA girl at birth, she's now almost 20 months old and the love of my life. I am 48 and while I never thought I would have an only child, financially I just can't swing another one now. Also, we are having so much fun I can't imagine another person (of any age) in the mix. That being said, I still don't say 'never' cuz I learned long ago to never say never. :D I've also wondered if a school aged child may be in my future, but that will mean waiting another 4 yrs until R is in school. I agree with everyone else, it all comes down to being a completely personal decision and there's no right or wrong way. I KNOW things happen when they are supposed to, not when we want them to. Margaret
I've hoped to get the ball rolling in the next two-four years. That will put me at about 30 or 32 for number one. I am 7 years older than my brother and always thought that was a nice age gap. Young enough to play together but old enough to understand what's going on and help out a little. But I like even numbers, so we'll say six years, so 38ish. I don't think I could go into an infant adoption at older than say 44. There are too many ifs there for me, esp as a single. I know none of us know our future but I want to be able to give my kids as much of me as possible. I second what everyone else has said though, there are different circumstances for everyone. Whatever feels right and comfortable for you. Lauren
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Ugh! As you can see my 365 days were up about 3 mos. ago. I STILL haven't started the process for #2 and am STILL waffling on this issue... UGH! I'm taking advantage of an awesome career opportunity (involves a relo) that puts me in great standing from a financial standpoint. BUT as we all know it's not all about money when it comes to children. Jeezfreakinglouise... what the heck am I scared of?!?! Just venting, thinking out loud... as the clock ticks.