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I adopted my stepdaughter in 2008 when she was 5; the birthmother told us to drawl up the paperwork and she'd sign her rights to me. *BM was in daughters life reguarly; everyother weekend etc*
So BM recently had another baby this year and she listed my daughter (^AD) as a sibling to the new baby in the local paper. I was very upset at this! How would you feel? When I asked BM why she did this she simply told me that ^AD is her daughter and I need to get over it and she had the right to list her as a sibling because ^AD is the new babies half sister and I need to respect that rather I like it or not. (Needless to say everything ended up in an agrument)
I'd like to know how others would feel about this, please.
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I get why it hurt you - but she is right. Adoption doesn't change biology :) And her child IS your daughter's sib, just like your daughter is a sibling to your other children. It probably would have been polite to warn you, or possibly consider that not everyone knows about the adoption ... HOWEVER saying that - its really YOUR issue. This doesnt harm your daughter in anyway - and in fact is probably a GOOD thing for your daughter *imagine how she would feel years from now to see her sister/brothers birth announcement and to realize that her birthmom didnt even agknowledge her.
Did she use your daughter's first and last name in the paper? I would probably have more concerns with that ... but still understand that it is "my" issue rather than anything wrong with it.
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Sarah, By the Act of Adoption an adoptee has more than two parents and in your case she has two mothers with you being her legal mother. There is no competition unless you choose to make it one - only the relationship you have with your daughter has to matter to you. Trust me that she has more than enough room in her heart to have two mothers... Kind regards,Dickons
That is weird that she didn't do it with the other child, only now since the adoption. I wonder if she feels guilty about the siblings losing the chance to ever be in sibling relationships with each other and realizes the impact of losing a sibling to adoption or is she just trying to yank your chain Sarah85? Try and not let it bug you Sarah, because it changes nothing really. ((((hugs))))
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