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Has anyone adopted 2 or 3 siblings at once from the foster care system without first fostering them? My husband and I have been thinking about domestic infant adoption until recently we learned there are so many children in the state's care who need adoption. We found three boys that are siblings ages 3,4, & 5 years old. They are listed in a heart gallery and available for adoption now. I'm just wondering if anyone has gone from 0 to 2 or 3 kids overnight and if you have any advice/suggestions?
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We did this. We adopted a sibling group of 3, ages 10, 5, and almost 2. We went into this as a straight adoption, so our biggest criteria was that we would only consider kids already legally free for adoption. Going from 0 to 3 totally changed our lives, but we are so blessed. As far as advice: Pray, pray, pray! This is not for the faint of heart. Read, and study about attachment and parenting children from difficult beginnings. Make sure you have a good support system in place. We couldn't have done this without our church, friends, and family. Be willing to accept help. I was amazed at the array of social workers, early intervention people, therapists, doctor's, etc. that were suddenly part of our lives. After 4 years, we are moving away from having quite so many professionals in our lives, but I'm glad we had their support. After a year, I looked around at my life and realized I didn't recognize it anymore. Everything from our marriage, jobs, the way our home looked had changed. They weren't bad changes but just having that many changes was stressful.
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I already have children, but we are looking at sibling groups of at least two from foster care. I noticed you mentioned about them being legally free for adoption. I assumed if they were on the photolisting that they would be. I guess I have learned something new. Whatever other tidbits you would like to throw my way, I will gladly accept.
I wanted to also share my story about foster care and adoption. My husband and I (now ex) started fostering three girls ages 3, 4 and 5 - they now are 18, 19, and 20. We went from no kids to three overnight. It also took five years for the girls to become free for adoption. A very long process!
I would agree that it is something you cannot do alone, you definately need a support group - and so do the children. There were good times and bad - and there has never been a time that I regret the decision. Of course, the kids do not bend over and thank me and think I am the best mother ever. They do not worship me because I saved them from years of foster care. They do not hug me because they think I saved them from being separated from each other at an early age. In otherwords - they treat me like most kids treat their mom. This is not something to do for external gratification!
We ended up getting two boys (sibling group) three years later. I have a ton of stories, and still worry about the effects of genetics, but again, I have to reiterate, I never have regretted the decision.
DH and I are foster/adopt and we went from 0 to 2 kids under 2 overnight. It's a huge change and there's a big adjustment period, but it's so worth it.
Find out as much information as you can if you really are interested in these boys. It's often hard to make and educated decision in these cases because most of the time the CW don't have a lot of information.
My story is a bit different. As a single person I was told that I would not be permitted an infant as they would go to good, stable two parent homes. I was initially offered a 3 year old and asked if interested. The next day they told me he had a brother would I do visits, the following day was do I want both the 3 year old and his 7 month brother. Having had a similar offer fall through just the week before and not thinking I had a chance due to the ages I said yes. I was totally shocked when I was told I could pick them up that afternoon! Not having been a parent first I thought that two would not be so much different than one but I was so very wrong. Just make sure you have alot of support. Thise who told me they would help often didn't and somedays I feel like I am going crazy! with that said I wouldn't change it and its been 2 1/2 years but it is so totally different from what you would expect!
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We are also considering straight sibling adoption but also considering legal risk sibling adoption. We are taking whatever comes our way. Though we've not been matched, I agree with the rest of the ladies here and think a strong support system is a great thing to have before bringing the kids home. Wishing you all the best!
We recently got word of two sisters who need a permenent home. They have been in foster care almost all of their lives, and the yougest was taken into foster care from the day she was born. Things happened with the foster families they lived with and weren't able to keep them. Also recently, BMom messed up even more and now her rights will eventually be terminated. So, my DH and I were asked if we wanted to take these girls in and adopt them. We said yes, so now it is just a waiting game.
NewMom259
We recently got word of two sisters who need a permenent home. They have been in foster care almost all of their lives, and the yougest was taken into foster care from the day she was born. Things happened with the foster families they lived with and weren't able to keep them. Also recently, BMom messed up even more and now her rights will eventually be terminated. So, my DH and I were asked if we wanted to take these girls in and adopt them. We said yes, so now it is just a waiting game.
We started the process when our bio kids were 10 and 12 so we did have some parenting experience. We were interested in children under 10, sib groups. I fully expected 7 and up because that are the ages that really need placement. Boy were we shocked when we were called about a 2,3 and 4 yr old. Well back to diapers we went. Yes the change was drastic! They also had some special needs. At the time we knew that they were dev. delayed a bit but had made HUGE gains already. Turns out that they are all Fetal Alcohol. Two also have RAD and one is also Autistic. Three weeks after we took adoptive placement of them we got the call letting us know that their bio cousins were in care and asked if we would be an adoptive resource for them as well. Long story short. They arrived 5 months later. They were 7,3 and11m. Yes we are busy but remain on task by having a schedule. Yes you need support. Yes it is worth it!!!! Best of luck in your adoption adventure.
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