Advice for a confused single?

I'm surprised you haven't gotten any responses before now. I'm sorry I didn't see your post sooner -- that can certainly add to the feelings of frustration. First off though, you're not alone in your journey. A lot of us have been there, and many even go back for more. :)I really didn't find it to be hard at all to get the process started. The Lord led me to choose international adoption over domestic rather than to endure the potential heartache of trying to adopt a young child from a system that has places strong emphasis on married couples. When I was looking through the listings of kids available for adoption through foster care there weren't any under 10 and most of the older kids were desicribed as "needs 2 parents" or something similar. When I decided that I really wanted to try for a much younger child I went to an information meeting about international adoption and found myself filling out the application before it was over. Several years earlier I had wanted to adopt from Russia and I realized it was time to follow through with it. I had actually completely forgotten about that earlier period -- even though I had even gone so far as to do some volunteer work at an agency that handled international adoptions just to learn more about it.Long story short, the adoption process went pretty smoothly. I requested a girl between 24-48 months old, eventually came home with a girl who was 30 months. From start to finish took about 16 months (from Dec '04 until Apr '06). At the time that was extremely fast, probably because I wanted a toddler rather than an infant. It is expensive to adopt. It is expensive to raise a child. I have done my best to stay home for my daughter but I still had to keep her in preschool all day M-F to allow for her social development (no kids around us) and my sanity. The cost was comparable to private schools for older kids. A nice tax deduction.......if I had needed it at that point.I won't go into details about the process I experienced since they're terribly outdated now. I know that even as I was wrapping up my last trip to Russia new rules were taking effect that would require parents to stay in country longer than the 10 days I was there for that last trip. If you want to adopt internationally, or just look into it further, I'd be happy to recommend an agency. Just send me a private message. I was very happy with the service I received. Feel free to ask any questions that come to mind.

I'm sorry I didn't reply earlier as well. Somehow I missed this post, I guess. I'm still in the process of adopting (domestically - waiting to be matched with a birth mom). I have an average middle-class income as well, and even though the bank says my debt-to-income is pretty good, it feels a bit big to me (student loans, ya know). I own my house (with a mortgage), and my car is paid off (but old). It is expensive, but there are options. I've taken some loan money, borrowed from my retirement (not that I had a huge amount there) and have applied for a couple of grants, although nothing has come through yet. I expect I will be paying off adoption costs for some time. My family will help as they can, but my mother is also single and a public school teacher, so that won't be much. I looked at both domestic and international adoption, but most countries have closed to singles at this point, and those that are open have mostly older (2yrs+) children. I wanted an infant the first time around. There are single-friendly agencies out there. If you want my perception of the agency I am working with feel free to PM me and I'll give you the scoop. I haven't found a lot of low-cost options. There is one program called Project Cuddle. They are not an adoption agency, more similar to a crisis pregnancy program. Their stated goal is to prevent babies from being abandoned; to that end they do have an opportunity to sign up as a "rescue family". These are families who are interested in adoption, and if there is a woman they are working with who does want to look at adoption they will help her choose a family and it would be a private adoption situation. I have heard people say that private adoption, where you find a birthmom yourself, can be less expensive, but I'm not sure. I like working with an agency that provides lots of counseling and such, because there's less chance of a birthmom changing her mind when she's had a chance to work through her thoughts/ feelings/ plans to a greater extent. Good luck! PM me if you want agency info or just for support. It's emotionally draining at times, but I keep holding on to the belief that it will be worth it.