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I got an email from my daughter's teacher this afternoon informing me that K has had an abnormally bad day in terms of her behavior. Hitting, scratching, arm twisting... topped off by kissing a boy's crotch. I'm assuming he had his pants zipped. I suppose I probably should have asked. It didn't occur to the staff or administration to bother calling me at the time, all my daughter needed was a stern talking to..... :rolleyes: I tried to warn them that her preference for playing with boys was probably not about being a tomboy ('cuz she certainly isn't).
Nancy Thomas' book mentions that sexual behavior isn't uncommon among RAD kids. So has anyone else had to deal with this showing up in a 7 year old? How did you handle it?
I have only dealt with my RAD children acting out in a sexually inappropriate manner on a very small scale, but that is b/c they were SA. Has she been with you long enough that you are confident she wasn't sexually abused? It is possible she just hasn't opened up to you about it yet?
I would suggest cross posting this on the general foster care and/or adoption board(s). There is a larger following and am sure they will have some great advice for you.
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Sorry, just noticed her age in your signature (-: My AS came to us shortly after his 2nd birthday and doesn't remember anything about the SA.
I do think you could get some great advice on the other boards.
Our 7 yr old dd has attatchment disorder and is beginning to act a little strange as well. She only plays with boys at school. She seems to have a lot of anger towards girls who try to play with "her boyfriends". She kissed a boy on the mouth last year while playing tag, she pulls her skirt up as high as she can and rolls up her shorts to make them shorter, she unbuttons her shirts and pulls them down as low as she can, asks to wear a two piece swim suit, and wants shirts that show her belly button:hissy:
Its odd because she has very little knowledge about sexual things, she was not SA (as far as we know), and we don't allow her to watch anything but PBS and preselected movies. So I know she is not getting this stuff from watching Hanah Montana! lol
I would definatley want to know the full story about the crotch kissing incident. Did anyone tell her to do that? Did another child dare her to do it? Where did she get the idea?
Is your daughter able to talk openly like that? Mine is not, so I am in the dark about most things. But, if your dd can tell you what she was thinking or where she got the idea, maybe that would help you.
K has been kissing boys for a long time. I wish this was a new devleopment. She had her first boyfriend when she was 4--he had also been adopted from Russia, though he was adopted as an infant. He had his own issues going on (usually wearing a princess dress when I'd drop off K in the morning; preferred being Beauty when they played Beauty and the Beast).
In preschool K would occassionally go into the bathroom then open the door wide while her pants were down. Or moon someone. Of course the obvious assumption was that she simply didn't understand that what she was doing was wrong...
Her teacher this year has managed to put an end to all/most chasing games for her. They seem to be involved in most of the instances that have resulted in kissing boys this year. There's also a more concerted effort to make her play with girls. They also want to put her back in a social skills group to help her learn how to play nice. I'm not sure if it's because of the inappropriate sexual behavior or the fact that she still uses physical gestures rather than words to stop others from crossing her personal boundaries.