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I gave my daughter up for adoption when she was 3 months old to a family friend who couldnt have kids. I was 15 and knew that I could not give my daughter the life she deserved. It was an open adoption. About 5 years ago the adoptive mom divorced the father and left both of them. She hasnt really been in the childs life and then a year ago the adoptive father passed away. Before he died, he always told me that if something ever happened to him he wanted the child to either go to his sister or to me. Nothing was ever in writing. 3 months after the adoptive father passed away the adoptive mother signed over custody to her sister. Now, my daughter is calling them mom and dad. I just want to know if this has happened to anyone and if anyone has done anything about it. I know as a birth mother that I have no rights but the last time I saw my daughter about a year ago she was calling me mom because she knows who I am. She put that together when she was only 6.
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Yes. I just called her today actually. When the adoptive father passed I didnt call for a few months so that my daughter could bond with her adoptive mom since the mom had been gone out of her life for so long and after a few months I called and found out that in that few months the mother gave her away. The sister who now has her already told me she would fight in court with me over this. This was a very civil conversation though and I just let her know that I was upset that my doughter wasnt with me. The sister is very sweet and is taking care of her and is allowing me to talk to my daughter and visit whenever I want but with me living 5 states away visits do not happen often. My main concern is if I was in some way defrauded with the adoptive mother giving my daughter to a couple that I did not choose. Isnt that the whole point of adoption? Giving your child a better life with a couple that you choose. Granted she is obviously not the right parent.
Unfortunately for you your rights were completely terminated in the process of your daughter's adoption. Once your child was placed the adoptive parents are her legal guardians, and even though you believe the adoptive father would have placed your daughter with you upon his death, the adoptive mother was still her legal mother. I don't think there is anything you can do but maintain the contact allowed by the new adoptive mother. However, don't take my word for it...you could consult an attorney.