Would you want to know?

Just show up? Absolutely NOT.Write a letter (make sure it only gets to her, not family), or call her. Never just show up. I'm sure there are millions of tips on how to tactfully talk to someone here.At some point, she might even be glad that she knows. Good luck.

Seekingher, How do you know she doesn't know she is adopted? How do you know she isn't searching for you? Without a name - which in 44 states that info is not provided to the adoptee without a court order for good cause - it is really tough. Have you checked the adoption reunion registry on this site? There are female adoptees with that birthdate searching. Have you submitted your search to ISRR.net? Depending on the state your daughter was adopted from (where the adoption was finalized) you may also be able to sign release forms so if she is looking then if she goes to the state for her info she can obtain identifying info. She may also have signed up if there is a registry releasing info to you if you go there. Without the state I can only point you to the tab above that says Library, then select Laws, and keep selecting until you get to the right state. I realize you most likely did not mean that you would literally show up on her doorstep vs sending a letter but rather simply to ask the question of would you want to know. YES - I WOULD WANT TO KNOW. Kind regards,Dickons

Even if she wants to know in some way, she may or may not be ready. As an adoptee, who was so not ready until 40ish and then was suddenly very ready, I would suggest making yourself find-able by registering with the online registries (without including her name). Then when she actually does want to know, she can easily locate you. There is such a broad range of feelings about this, and even an individual's feelings change over time. Any young to middle age adult at this point knows they can register online if they want to try. It will go so much better if you are both ready. Good luck.