Foster Shower Advice

Thank you Thank you Thank you! I almost cried reading your responses - it was such a relief. I felt like I was walking blind trying to figure out what I needed. I'm grateful for my friends support but didn't know what to ask for. This is great advice and I am passing it along to the hosts of my shower for sure!

Our friends are throwing us a shower too. It is a little easier for us. While we are licensed for 0-2, we are working with drug affected newborns. But you are right - gender neutral is difficult! I agree with a PP that you may want to wait to have your shower until you have a placement, but since you are foster/adopt, could it be possible you will have more than one placement while waiting for your forever child? So maybe getting a vareity of items would be helpful. I don't think I am being very helpful! :) But a PP had a huge list that I am copying! Isn't it exciting? I can't wait for our shower. I hope we have a little one in our home before then. I am so excited for this journey.

Don't buy a drop side convertible crib...If you could find one the agency will probably make you get rid of it. Many agencies are wanting FPs to have fixed side cribs in their home to be in compliance with the government's new ban on drop side cribs in child care homes. You will need car seats (depending on the number of kids you are registered for 1 for each child) because the kids don't come with one. I would suggest for your age group you will want an infant bucket on hand, and a convertible that goes up to 50-60lbs (Graco My Ride 65 is a good, affordable option, Evenflo has several that are reasonably priced that go between 50-65 lbs). Learn how to install them correctly...so that you are not fumbling with it the night of a placement. Remember that even though the "law" is a child only has to rear face until 1year old & 20lbs, in reality a child is about 5x safer riding rear facing than forward facing. Baby swing, bouncy seat, exersaucer, high chair, baby proofing supplies. Beyond that, I don't have a stock-pile of stuff...the important thing to us was the furniture (b/c we couldn't get licensed w/out it). Because you don't have kids; toys, books, craft supplies, etc are also going to be important. Don't just stick to your age range when shopping for that stuff...maybe you'll get a 5yo who's almost 6, but as smart as an 8yo....maybe you'll get a 4yo who is with you for 3 years...maybe you'll do respite for a 7yo. So you want to be prepared for more than your "core" age group As far as clothes...our agency reimburses for 1st time placements (but not for clothes you bought before the placement came), so we don't keep too much on hand. And we live in an urban area, so our feeling is Wal-Mart is always open. Some areas do vouchers. You'll want to nail down what your agency does before you start buying clothes. And as many here will tell you, thrift stores, ebay, craigslist. GREAT resources for nice clothes cheap. You always need extra bedding, kids have accidents. My agency requires water proof mattress pads on all foster child beds. So just because you have one bed and one crib, you probably want 3 or 4 bedding sets to go with that (maybe a couple gender specific, and a couple neutral). I go through 3 crib sheets/week b/c my FD drools SO much in her sleep, her sheets get literally crusty! Good luck! You've very lucky to have such WONDERFUL friends! Don't ever take them for-granted!

I say ask for gift cards! Have a gift card shower. Honestly, until you have your first placement, you will not know what you'll need. If you are licensed for a broad age-range, you're REALLY going out on a limb. I have ZERO storage in my home so I'd say go for goft cards!

That is so sweet, now maybe I am going to cry! If you're usually this nice, you'll be a great parent. Did I mention "board books"? And finding out if there are any "kid consignment" stores in your area? If so, just go there and browse around to see what's there. Tell them you're getting ready to foster, and may soon need stuff. I just loved that phase where I had all the little clothes sizes 2-5 (I'd said boys only, so that made it somewhat easier!) in the kids' closet!

Just wanted to share the cute little poem I pieced together for my invitations.... I'm hoping it will help those attending get a feel for what I need. I reworked my registry too based on the comments here. They were SO helpful. I can't thank you all enough! :flower: A long and challenging journey

Has come to an end,

Come celebrate the new

One that is about to begin!

We're not quite sure

Whooos soon to arrive.

Maybe boy, maybe girl

Age birth up to five! Join us for a foster adoption shower celebrating the child/ren the ____ family will be welcoming into their hearts! Please stick with gender neutral items and feel free to pass down infant & toddler items youҒre no longer using in lieu of gifts!

We got a drop-side crib, changing table, and a pack and play from donations to us! and nothing was recalled!! For our foster shower we registered for as many gender neutral items as possible. Target has a great collection of gender neutral sheet sets... they're for college students, but they have neat patterns and bright colors. We also regestered for books for all ages and cd's that we can have in the bedroom and on the road. Toys that have really wide age ranges. We got a infant-toddler rockers instead of a bouncy seat. and a bathtub that is for newbor to 2 years old! We tried to look for as many things that our age range 0-4 could really have for a while.

Personally I would not accept a drop side crib. We just got an email yesterday from our case worker saying drop side cribs have ban banned in CO foster homes.

wish i had looked at this just a little earlier, I just posted about drop side cribs.

I'm finding this difficult as well. My husband and I will be certified in about a month for foster to adopt and we are open to boy or girl, 0 - 12 years, any race. My bestie has been dying to throw me a shower for years, and now that she has the chance I have NO idea what in the world to register for. So far I just have all my friends passing clothes down to me that their kids have grown out of.

Gift cards have been a life saver. People are good at donating clothes, diapers, toys but cards fill in the rest.

Awww- congrats on being so close to the end of the certification process! Feels like it takes forever, no?I really enjoyed your poem and post. My DH and I are foster/adopt (which is really concurrent planning for young ones in my area)- also our first experience at parenting after a few years of no success the "old-fashioned" way. :)I was very much hung up on the preparation in the beginning- and it was a little easier for us because we were able to specify 0-1 year as my area is very active with infants/newborns. But we were also open to any race/gender- and you are right- gender neutral stuff is SO hard to find these days since everyone usually finds out gender during pregnancy! But it can be fun too...We are also blessed with unbelievably supportive family and friends and my best friend wanted me to have the baby shower I always dreamed of. I was so stressed about how to word things and make everyone comfortable- but in the end it was just a wonderful day of celebration- the difference is you are celebrating the initiation into parenthood rather than a specific child- and that is okay!As for items- I would ask that people include a gift receipt- most companies have a pretty long exchange policy as long as items are unopened, so for example if you get newborn diapers and need size 4's you could always exchange. I think asking for gently used items is also a great idea for clothes especially- because there is no loss if you don't get to use them.Also- it is okay to get a range of items because you may use them if you get multiple placements. For us- we had a newborn placed with us and she went to live with her grandparents at four months. We took some time off to recoup and grieve- but then fast-forwarded to a 13 month old! DH's office threw him a diaper shower with our first placement so it was great to not have to run out and get size 3 diapers because we already had some waiting! :)I will list what I consider "basics" by age range:Newborn- up:Diapers!!! All sizes!!!Wipes. Tons of Wipes (if you are open to drug-exposure, I recommend getting sensitive wipes. A lot of babies born exposed have some really toxic poo at first and it helps their little bums not break down)Diaper Cream/AquaphorNasal AspiratorsSmall soft wash clothsBath mat/infant tubBottles!!! (a few styles- different babies to better with different nipples. No science to it- just a variety can be good)Bottle/Sippy drying rackSwaddle sleep sacks (Halo makes a great one) - again great for soothing traumatized or exposed babiesSensitive Skin Lotions (since you won't know about allergies- Aveeno is great)Face/Hand wipes (love Boogerwipes)Clorox Wipes (for cleaning-not baby obviously :)Infant/Child TylenolPacifiers & teething toys (a variety of sizes & shapes)Burp cloths (great for a variety of uses!)Diaper Genie & refillsBaby moniter- you will need this for any ageSoothing noise/white noise makerBottle WarmerAdjustable Play yard (pack N play)Bibs! Cloth for newborns, plastic backed for toddlersA few bright tactile toys.Baby proofing kitScent free laundry detergentLaundry basket/hamperbaby blanketsthermometers. I would get a couple at least!baby gate(s)As cute as they are to buy- I would avoid many clothes since that does depend so much on size! BUT- it would be a good idea to have one set of pj's or comfy clothes in every size up to your 5 yr old- and socks. Just in case. Sadly sometimes these babies come with just the clothes on their backs! With Daisy- she wore pj's for the first two days while I scrambled to assemble a wardrobe. :) Also not sure for you, but most agencies and areas provide an initial clothing stipend. For us it is 100 for infants, 120 after a year. I think it goes up for every few years of age. Not much- but better than nothing!-This is really just for newborns- but I LOVE the Fisher Price Newborn Rock N Play as a sleeping option at first. It is excellent for newborns that can't sit up yet for reflux and sleep issues. [url=http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=18165856&CAWELAID=1818728872&cagpspn=pla&pla=plab&camp=PLAPPC-_-PID14843770&KPID=14843770]Fisher-Price Newborn Rock 'N Play Sleeper - Tan Circles - Fisher-Price - Babies "R" Us[/url]You will still need a bed and a toddler converter crib is probably your best bet, with maybe a twin as a back up. If you are open to two I would do a twin and a converter crib. I like the changing tables that also include a chest of drawers...but newborns usually sleep in your room at first and the Rock N Play is just perfect for that.Toddlers & UpBOOKS!!! You can start reading to babies and kids at any age! I love the board books because they are less destructible!Board PuzzlesShape stacking gamesBig legosGift Certificate to the Zoo or Zoo membership, or kid's museums- anything like that with activity!noise making toys Fun kid Dvd'sPush toys/ride alongsStuffed animalsSoft, Bright blanketSimple, bright bath toysPicture albums!!!Good luck. I love seeing posts like this. It reminds me of how exciting the journey can be. Some people get bent out of shape over getting excited about fostering/adopting- because there has to be a loss to get there. But here is the thing-to me- making that decision to jump into the unknown DOES take faith and bravery- and deserves to be celebrated! As does every child- no matter what or where they come from! It can be a very joyous thing- welcoming a child into your home and helping them heal from their hurts. I know for me- as painful as it was to lose her back to her GP's- having Squeaks come to our home was one of the most healing experiences of my life after year's of infertility and questioning how/when we might become parents! And we are still in the unknown with Daisy- but I know she is meant to be with us now and has brought so much joy!Good luck to you!!! I will look forward to your updates and getting to congratulate you on your first placement!!! Feel free to PM me if you have any questions about anything.Also- if you are a reader- I have two books to recommend. One is a great book about child care- my best friend gave it to me when she first heard we were going to pursue foster adoption. [url=http://www.amazon.com/Caring-Your-Young-Child-Edition/dp/0553386301]Caring for Your Baby and Young Child, 5th Edition: Birth to Age 5 (Shelov, Caring for your Baby and Young Child, Birth to Age 5): American Academy Of Pediatrics: 9780553386301: Amazon.com: Books[/url]It has every thing you could ever want to know about development and care!And for entertainment and just a great overall book- Nia Vardolas's book "Instant Mom" . She is the actress that wrote and starred in My Big Fat Greek Wedding and she actually adopted a young child from the foster system. It is a hilarious and touching book- and I loved every page. [url=http://www.amazon.com/Instant-Mom-Nia-Vardalos/dp/0062231839/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1375468676&sr=1-1&keywords=instant+mom]Instant Mom: Nia Vardalos: 9780062231833: Amazon.com: Books[/url]

Great post BS!! I'm copying your response to keep as a check off list. We are open 0-3 so are in the same bandwagon. Right now I'm waiting to hear if we were picked for a 3 week old exposed baby and a 2 yr old tod! :)

What great ages! I hope they are placed with you and you find out soon!!! Start stocking up on sleep now just in case! LOL

Thanks!! If we get picked for the 3 week old, i'm under the impression he'll come home this weekend, if we get picked for the 2 yr old, he'll come next week. Either way, we plan on sleeping as often as we can! :) Fingers crossed!!!! :)