School question hypothetical

I'd go with #1 for all the reasons PPs listed. As a footnote, I enrolled my son (Ethiopian) in the convenient non-diverse place across the street from my office. Guess what, there are 2 other Ethiopians in his class of 8 kids. Who would have thought? You hate for your child to be the only kid of color, you want them to be in the majority at least sometimes. But someone is always going to be the first one, the only one, before diversity can happen :)

Ironically, in this case the opposite is going on, and DD might be one of the last. You see, School #1 (which is our zoned school, meaning the one that actually has to accept us) actually used to be much MORE diverse. But it's a small school that draws from a proportionally small geographic area as its zone that over the past decade has gentrified radically. We still live in a pretty mixed race area in general, but this particular school - in part because the zone touches upon a local park, and those houses are much in demand - is getting more CC quite a bit faster then the surrounding areas. Interestingly when you look at the school statistics, the older classrooms (e.g. 4th and 5th grades) still have a substantial proportion of AA and Hispanic students. But the kindergartens? Pretty darn white. CEB and others, you bring up the key question -- what other exposure to a diverse community does she have? I'm struggling a bit, I think. We're Jewish so church is out, and our local shuls are also pretty darn white, though not exclusively. I mean, just being out and about she is exposed to all kinds of folks, but I want her - the whole family - to have more opportunities to build relationships in the Hispanic community here, and I guess I have been hoping school would be one of those inroads. I'm kind of a shy person deep down (though my friends might deny it) and I like the idea of school as a forum to build relationships rather then just trying to do it on your own, you know?

I totally get that. It's one thing to be exposed to a lot of different people, and totally another to be in a situation where you are able to develop relationships with other families. I'm the same way, it is hard to just strike up a connection with another family unless we are really getting a chance to spend time together and get to know them. A school setting would encourage relationship building.

If we stay where we are living now (man, I hope not!) we will be in the same situation. I hate to say it, but school #1. As others have pointed out, there are other opportunities for DD to have a more diverse social group...but my priorities for education seem to win out.

School number 1. I went for diversity and what I thought was an up and comer school, almost as good as private. This year the school moved down about 4 levels to the watch list. DS is in kindy and I am considering moving him back to private school now, in the middle of the year. I now realize that what I need from a school is academics. I can provide diversity, arts etc. . . on my own. I can't make up for the fact that he has not learned ONE thing in Kindy. I have to say, that having area friends is a huge plus and that makes the decision a bit harder. I don't trust up and comer schools to much anymore and I regret considering diversity as anything other than a small factor in the school decision. I should have only looked at academics.

School number one. Here's the thing too...and I think our family has a little bit of experience in this given that our first two are Asian and when going to a public school, were the only Asian kids in a pretty-much, all white one. Additionally, they were the only Asian kids in the nearby community---and, we lived on a farm. :) Just because your child/ren are exposed to children of the same ethnicity, doesn't mean they'll necessarily be accepted by them either, KWIM? Kids are kids. Public school can be VERY cruel, regardless if the 'problem' with the other kids is because of skin color or not. Putting a bunch of 'same ethnicity of children' together does NOT equate that they'll all just accept and get along with each other. On the other hand, I'm NOT saying you shouldn't find opportunities for your child to see/be with/play with other children who ARE the same ethnicity of your child.......but that's basically 'setting them up and out there' in whatever setting and hoping they'll share some of the same feelings. IF your child were older, I honestly think this can be much more important. Certainly ONLY exposing your kids to white folks isn't always the best choice; but, what if other kids of color don't hold the same values you do? What if their families think/do/behave totally different than you want your child to think/do/behave? In this respect, exposing your kids to the same 'color' as your child doesn't have a good impact, does it? As adoptive parents, I think agencies try to pressure us into thinking our children won't be happy unless they have that total exposure. But, what agencies aren't realizing is that in doing just that----they're also practicing a type of segregation as well. Yes, definately find places for your child to be exposed to other children of color, ie, clubs, after-school functions, etc.......but don't let it be the main rule to determine your child's academics or interests too. As someone else said, even if the school was very diverse, there'll always be some time/place where you child will have to deal with being the 'only', or nearly the 'only'. In our experiences, our now-grown kids feel they didn't lose out by being the 'only', or 'nearly only'. We DID make efforts to have them exposed to the larger community farther away and involved with clubs/events that brought about more diversity. (Later, when we elected to homeschool, the homeschooling group was actually more diverse than the public school!!!) I personally feel it made them more self-confident and able to deal with society as a whole. Yes, there were times others made fun of them; didn't understand they weren't going to talk in Korean or Japanese because that was their place of birth; but by being in those awkward positions, they also learned a lot as well..... JMO... Sincerely, Linny

I'm also voting for #1.....let's face it, one really wants a good school with good academic base for their child deep down. While relationships are built in school it also will be difficult to do functions with friends if they live 45min to an hour away as well...which can be tough and can add to other points of issues (maybe) if your DD can't play with her friends from the far away school as often. Figure out what is really important to your family, then add as needed for diversity. I say this because if I were to do public school for L when she hits kinder my local school is really good academic wise and diversity wise, but being from the denomination SDA and keeping Sabbath, I want my DD to have fond memories of doing activities with school and friends that won't conflict with Friday nights....so my choices are between two SDA schools and I have to do my research on their populations and what I will deem important within that system. School choices are HARD. I hope you can find peace with your ultimate decision and more than that, I hope you get into the perfect school that you're waiting to hear back from!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Blessings!

Reading your post, I actually had a lot less black and white feeling about the situation. I honestly don't think diversity should be the only factor, but I'm less likely to say academic standing should be either. My perspective is from a person who has tutored different children who go to NYC schools over the past four years, they range from 3rd graders to 7th graders. I can tell you that some of the kids who went to some of the best academic rated elementary schools were only taught to do well on tests, they tended to have no diversity in their learning, and I honestly feel they weren't as good at learning. On the other hand, some of the kids who went to schools who had a lower rating actually had a much better ability to think creatively, do logical thinking, and had learned more than what was on a standardized test. Much of it depending on their teachers (as is the norm), but IMO going to a "good" school definitely didn't make a good student, in fact I was told by one 4th grader who went to a really good school when I explained why the answer she was giving was incorrect that I wasn't being fair because I wasn't giving a multiple choice problem. At the end of the day, with ALL the kids I tutored, their success had much less to do with the school they went to and more to do with their parents involvement - the kids who had parents who didn't care or just wanted improved test scores tended to have students who were IMO short-sighted about learning. Kids whose parents asked questions, wanted to know what they were learning, tried to be involved in the education process had kids who were more well rounded and were getting a good education. Again, just trying to show a different POV, but especially in NYC it's just not straightforward. Just wait until your little one gets to HS, then choosing a school goes to a new level of confusing.

Racilious, I'm tempted to send you the names of all the schools involved and find out what you think of them pedagogically. :) I don't know of you ever work with kids from Brooklyn District 15 schools.And I agree that it's not so clear cut. The second school is maybe more up and coming, but in some ways it's up-and-came. It has some very strong boosters and advocates, and the school administration in some ways impressed me more then that in school #1.But I was thinking yesterday when it was snowing that I really can't see making the trek to school #2 in the freezing cold every winter day. . .Ack! Here's hoping we get into #3! :)

Unfortunately all my kids were from Queens and Manhattan, no Brooklynites, so I don't know much about the elementary schools there. If you want to send me the names over PM I could see if any of the other tutors I know, or even other parents I know have opinions of them. I hope you get into school #3 as well, but if you don't, just follow your gut. I think schools with a strong administration and good parent involvement to me is as important if not more important that academic standings, that on top of a good curriculum in the arts (something I'm a real sucker for) and a diverse student body to me seems like a great option. For me it comes down to the extra walk and whether you think it's doable (as a girl who walks 25 minutes to work each way, I can appreciate how hard that can be in 9" of snow!)

Saya, picking up from a comment in racilious post....I'm working in a school where the teachers are great and our special ed. staff is great and it used to be a decent school for a title I district....our principal left and we got a new one 3 years ago. Administration is horrible and while the rest of the staff and service providers are still chucking, I can attest to the fact that if administration is poor, it's not a great atmosphere....so in the end go with your gut. My parents used to send me to a private school 25 min. away at the time where all my parent's money went to food and my school (we were poor back then) and the car was iffy if it would work or not....we made it through!

I'm going to vote strongly for # 2. I send my kids to a school most the advantaged whites in the area refuse to send their kids to....it is over 90% free lunch, title one, low test scores, mostly minority, over 25% special education, etc, etc, etc. I think my kids gain far more from being around other minorities and learning to work with a diverse population than they would "learn" in a nearby school that boasts higher test scores but no minorities. I can make up academics at home; you can't make up a feeling of warmth and acceptance and a thriving, diverse multicultural school. One thing to consider is schools which accept special education students will naturally see their test scores fall. Schools which can afford to force out the kids with learning challenges, autism, etc, will then have higher scores. The academic profile of a school doesn't tell you everything about it. Personally I'd rather my kids learn around children in wheelchairs or those who have DD or autism. Who cares about test scores? Real learning involves empathizing and being open-minded. Also, consider the staff. What message does it send kids to only see white teachers? I would look at the teaching staff as well. What school recruits minority teachers? That school will value your child more than a school that is blind to racial issues. This is my two cents from growing up in a biracial family. My siblings and I had searing experiences when we were bused to an all-white school. More than the overt racism it was the discomfort of never seeing a similar face, and hearing ignorant comments a hundred times a day.....if you send your kid to an all-white school be prepared for your child to hear a lot of confusing and even offensive comments. Your child will be The Only One. That is a very very hard place to live. You might consider asking minority parents why they don't send their kids to this school. Maybe it has a reputation for being hostile to minorities.

Kindergarten is tough on any family. If you live in the 5 boros, it is even more insane. I have to say that my districted public school is not a place I would like my daughter to attend. There are public schools within my district that I like (including a new dual language school) but I would be wait-listed to get into any of them. I am putting most of my hopes into charter schools. Last week the insanity started, attending open houses and "meet the principal" events. The three charter schools that I like the most have very diverse student populations, with large percentages of latinos, Asians and whites, and small percentages of non-hispanic black students. (I'm in the process of adopting a second child from Ethiopia, so I'm looking at both black and latino representation.) But the charter schools accept students by lottery. Last year, the one in my neighborhood had 1200 applications for 40 slots. The charter school I like the most has a strong science focus, with lots of project based learning and hands-on activity. School veggie garden. A duck wanders the hallways. No second language instruction, and she would have to take a bus to get there. :( Second choice has a strong liberal arts program, Spanish instruction from kindergarten on, and is walking distance from home. AND it is K-12. Third choice (haven't visited yet, so once I see it the rankings may change) has a strong social studies focus. Also a bus ride away. And we are doing the gifted and talented test in a couple of weeks. I have no idea how she will do on the test, but she is very bright. Honestly, she would have to bus (or taxi) to a gifted school, and given that I want a school that both of my kids can go to, and given that I'm adopting a preschooler, I think the chances of the second child testing into gifted are very unlikely. Also, gifted just gives so much homework, and I really would prefer that she spend her afterschool time doing activities rather than worksheets. The Race for the Top money is going to drastically change the educational system in the city in the next couple of years. New York State was one of 10 states nation wide to win a big federal grant, and part of the deal is a drastic increase in the number of charter schools. If I understand it correctly, there will be 64 new charter schools opening in NYC in September '12, 32 new charter schools in Sept '13 and another 32 in Sept '14. Some will be elementary, while others will be JHS and HS. So whatever decision we make now, chances are that by the time our kids are in 1st or 2nd grade, there will be new options available to us. I know i want to settle into a school that I love (and that Liana loves) and be done with school shopping. But if we make a choice that doesn't feel 100% right, we are at a strange point in time in which more options will open up. Good luck with whatever school you decide on.

Someone brought up an interesting point that shouldn't go unnoticed. I think even more important than a diverse student body is a diverse teaching staff. DS was at a very diverse private school last year (50% black) but there was not a single teacher of color. That made for some uncomfortable situations and it really was not the message I wanted to send my son. I can easily replace minority kids in his life with activities and transracial adopted kids, but I cannot replace the experience of growing up with the assumption that the black adult in the room is in charge of the room.

As a CC with a Hispanic child, I would say choose school #1. Giving your child the best education is the most important. Of course, I'm not in your situation since we live in a very diverse area outside of Houston, but I don't think it makes that much of a difference. I think your daughter is pretty used to being around CC family, friends, etc. so she will most likely be very comfortable in this surrounding. I think it's important to share her culture with her but going to a more diverse school is not really a necessity.