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Well, my son finally received the letter I wrote! The certified letter confirmation says it was delivered on the 28th of Jan. So far no news. I guess the upside is that he didn't use the SASE I enclosed to send the letter back or to send a note that he hates me and to never contact him again. I have to admit, this waiting is far more torturous than I thought it would be. At this point I can't decide which scares me more, hearing from him or being ignored by him! On one hand, I'm terrified that he'll call and we won't have anything to say to each other, on the other, I'm terrified that if I never hear from him I'll never be able to get past the rejection. I'm thinking WAAAY to much about this, over analyzing every line of my letter, thinking about all the possible next moves. I need to let it go!
I know it's only been a few weeks and he needs time (I took four months to send the letter, seems like he might take after me in the "need time to process" area!). I think I just needed to vent a little and maybe hear back that I'm somewhat normal [url]http://forums.adoption.com/images/smilies/cool.gif[/url]
Thanks for listening!
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Yeah, the waiting is certainly tough, but at least you do understand the need to process. It's even tougher for him, because not only does he probably need time to figure out what to say to you, he also needs to process the fact that you have contacted him. You were processing that whole idea all along, but he just started that when he got your letter. Of course he's probably thought about it in the past, but that's very different from the reality of it happening.
I think it's very likely you'll hear from him, although it could be a while yet. I hope you're able to keep yourself distracted enough that you don't go completely nuts until then!