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Its become apparent to me that my post has stirred strong emotions in many of you. I could very well leave it as is but I feel the need to give more detail as to why I chose the route I did. Not to convince you that what IҒm doing is right because everyone is entitled to feel their own thoughts. I originally came on here looking for information on adoption. I found out about the pregnancy when I was three months. At that time I figured Id do the right thing and consider adoption. I felt overwhelmed after talking with two attorneys that wanted to charge me an arm & a leg to represent me & help me find a family. I considered paying the fees but last week my employer found out of my pregnancy and fired me. Now I have no way of financing the adoption or taking care of the baby if it came to that. The 300 dollars IҒm going to pay next week to end the pregnancy is cheaper than the 15,000 the attorney is charging me and a lot less than the cost of raising it. Terminating the product of a date rape never crossed my mind until now that I have nothing to offer him. Who is going to hire me in my condition? Its hard enough finding a job without baggage. Maybe some of you canҒt understand my choice and thats ok, I donҒt expect you too. But you are not in my shoes and only I know how I feel.
Le_love
It’s become apparent to me that my post has stirred strong emotions in many of you. I could very well leave it as is but I feel the need to give more detail as to why I chose the route I did. Not to convince you that what I’m doing is right because everyone is entitled to feel their own thoughts. I originally came on here looking for information on adoption. I found out about the pregnancy when I was three months. At that time I figured I’d do the right thing and consider adoption. I felt overwhelmed after talking with two attorneys that wanted to charge me an arm & a leg to represent me & help me find a family. I considered paying the fees but last week my employer found out of my pregnancy and fired me. Now I have no way of financing the adoption or taking care of the baby if it came to that. The 300 dollars I’m going to pay next week to end the pregnancy is cheaper than the 15,000 the attorney is charging me and a lot less than the cost of raising it. Terminating the product of a date rape never crossed my mind until now that I have nothing to offer him. Who is going to hire me in my condition? It’s hard enough finding a job without baggage. Maybe some of you can’t understand my choice and that’s ok, I don’t expect you too. But you are not in my shoes and only I know how I feel.
No-one should be charging you any money at all!!!!!
If you really had your mind set on adoption, you should try a reputable agency - most agencies charge nothing - the BP/APs on here can tell you more. Also, you will still be able to change your mind about adoption/parenting until after the birth if you so wish.
In fact, I would go as far as to say that those attorneys should be reported to someone!!!
I do think you need independent counselling down as well so you can clearly think through the options. Someone on here suggested contacting a lady whose name is Brenda Romanchik (unser name Bromanchik), please consider contacting her, she is a birthmother who has BTDT and would be able to talk to you about all your options.
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Wow, I thought I was having a bad day until I read the anguish in your post. Whatever you decide it wont be easy and you alone will live with your decision. Take this time to make sure you are OK with your decisions. I posted to your original request a couple weeks ago. I know I am on the other side of the county but I find it awful and unbelievable that an attorney would charge YOU for placement of your baby. Does your planned parenting offer counseling? Or the women's crisis center? Many colleges also have them too. Best wishes and good luck.
You know, I've been active within the adoption community for over 30 years (relinquished my baby in 1972 and became an reform activst in the 1980s). This is the first time I've ever heard of any lawyer charging an expectant mother to place her baby for adoption. The only expenses you should be incurring are medical expenses, and it sounds like you'd most likely qualify for Medi-Cal now that you lost your job. I'm just astounded that any lawyer in California would be charging you---the adoptive parents are the ones who normally pay them.
Could you please send me the names of the two attorneys who quoted you such outrageous fees? I'd like to add them to my list of attorneys/agencies to avoid. Thanks.
Whatever you decide, I know it's got to be difficult to be in your shoes. Good luck, and if there's anything I can do for you, just send me a Private Message (PM).
I note you posted this thread earlier this month - you might want to reread it :)
[url]http://forums.adoption.com/unplanned-pregnancy-support/387096-adoption-advise.html[/url]