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I know I'm not alone but I feel so alone lately. I'm only 23 years old and my husband and I decided to foster a little boy a year into our marriage. We had prayed about it and felt like it was what God wanted us to do and I still feel that way but sometimes I get discouraged. It's been a struggle raising him. We're working towards adoption and we hope for it to be official in July. We love him with all our hearts, he just gives us a time! He does really good for a while and then BAM! He has almost a full week of bad days. He's not a bad kid, he's actually a sweetheart! Let's just say, when he's good he's good but when he's bad he's bad. LOL I have spent many days crying over him and praying to God for strength. Lately, I feel numb to it all. I feel hopeless, at the end of my rope. He had a bad week at school last week and didn't start off this week well at all. His teacher said that he is very disrespectful and whines when he wants attention. He had been doing better at home but obviously it's total opposite at school. They just diagnosed him with ADHD and ODD. I believe that God is our healer and that He can take care of both these problems. I'm just getting so tired of everything. I feel so alone. I just recently quit my job so that I could focus more on college and raising him. Because I'm not out and about, I get discouraged and feel very alone. I need prayers desperately! Any advice on parenting would help too. Thanks and God bless!
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i too have felt alone many times we have adopted to children our son has serious dissability issues and many times i ask God why they say he wont give us more than we can handle but that is not true he wont give us more than he can handle for us and carry us through. i know in my heart that God gave us this child for a greater purpose to glorify Christ and be a mighty man of God and for whaterver reason God has not healed him but i know that God is there to sustain me through the darkest hours when i feel i cant go on anymore. God uses us as vessels for these children that have no voice trust God and if He has given your husband and you peace about this little one than trust him to bring u through it but most important you and your husband need to seek God in all things and be in one accord the devil wants nothing more than to use these gifts to destroy the work God has in store. my prayers are w you please also pray for us as we r trying to be patient and faithful to what God has in store
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Things were definitely a struggle for us when we first got the two that we adopted, and we were already experienced parents. On the plus side, their behaviors have drastically improved in the past three years. Sometimes they don't even seem like the same kids that first came here. But even to this day they occasionally revert back to something I thought we had gotten past, and when they do, it tends to be a whopper of a blow out. So I just rejoice in the good times and the fact that the bad days are steadily decreasing.There are two things you need to get. One, is a good babysitter who you trust and who is available once a week to give you and your husband a date night. The second thing is a close female friend, another mom, preferably one who has experience with a wild child of her own, who can commiserate but is always encouraging and supportive of your decision to foster and adopt.Hang in there, it does get better. And remember FROG... Fully Rely On God! If you aren't maintaining your relationship with him, then none of your other relationships will be healthy.
I raised an ADHD/ODD child. What I found is that punishments rarely work well. It tends to make the ODD spiral and worsen. Try praise, compliments, express your faith in him as to what behaviors you KNOW he's capable of, that you KNOW he will choose, brag about him in his hearing, and use a reward program. Due to attention span issues you may have to make rewards more immediate than with a normal child. You may need to give him a special treat after school each day that he has a good day. A full week of good days could be celebrated with an outing to the park or something of the sort. Just remember to use positive reinforcement rather than negative. It works so much better in ODD.
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Don't give up our adopted son was diagnosed with bipolar and ADHD following a lot of intensive inpatient treatment he came home a different child this last year at school they pulled him off his Iep at school stating they could not justify it any longer as there were no signs of ADHD and he had gone from all f's to strait a's and b's they explained to us more than once when he was in treatment that a lot of times it's not so much these diagnosis it's more the crazy environment they were removed from. It was a long road and still not a perfect one but this is a kid Dss didn't think would make it or ever truly bond with us he has defied all odds is 17 and plans on going to law school following high school.... He started experimenting with drugs this summer and actually came to us told us what he was doing and asked to get back into counseling.... His bio sister not such a good story and pretty heartbreaking but these kids come to us with issues I am a firm believer where there is enough love and stability it will all come together. God is good and he has his hand in this too.... There were moments I never thought our family would survive but through God and our strong love we have pulled through and will continue to do so my kids bio or adopted are all my kids and I love them all the same... Just remember it takes time and work to help overcome some of the things these kids have gone through pre adoption....it took years after we had adopted our kids for them to begin to feel safe enough to let us know the full story that Dss had no clue about.... They learn certain coping mechanisms and its hard to trust and feel safe it takes time and work.... And just continuously giving it up to God
shannyfro
I know I'm not alone but I feel so alone lately. I'm only 23 years old and my husband and I decided to foster a little boy a year into our marriage. We had prayed about it and felt like it was what God wanted us to do and I still feel that way but sometimes I get discouraged. It's been a struggle raising him. We're working towards adoption and we hope for it to be official in July. We love him with all our hearts, he just gives us a time! He does really good for a while and then BAM! He has almost a full week of bad days. He's not a bad kid, he's actually a sweetheart! Let's just say, when he's good he's good but when he's bad he's bad. LOL I have spent many days crying over him and praying to God for strength. Lately, I feel numb to it all. I feel hopeless, at the end of my rope. He had a bad week at school last week and didn't start off this week well at all. His teacher said that he is very disrespectful and whines when he wants attention. He had been doing better at home but obviously it's total opposite at school. They just diagnosed him with ADHD and ODD. I believe that God is our healer and that He can take care of both these problems. I'm just getting so tired of everything. I feel so alone. I just recently quit my job so that I could focus more on college and raising him. Because I'm not out and about, I get discouraged and feel very alone. I need prayers desperately! Any advice on parenting would help too. Thanks and God bless!