My failure as a foster mom

You did not fail! You are human and you are having the same human feelings that you should have. I agree with the above poster, today is about faking it, and know that you will visit the issue with her, and her caseworker and a possible therapist later. Looks like she will have to be on a thether to you for a while, which will be very uncomfortable for both of you. When my son was little about this age he hurt my niece in what sounds like a very similar situation. I was devestated. He is now 14 and would not hurt a fly. That age is hard because they don't always get that some things can't get fixed and that he can have a bad effect on someone else. Also, I wonder if this has to do with the upcoming move. While T may seem like he is transitioning well, this could be his way of saying he is not. Also - birthday = trigger to events that brought him into care. This could be triggered from any pstd flash back that was occuring in his birthfamily. Sometimes if kids see something over and over again in their heads, they believe that it will go away if they act it out. I will pray for all of you. God loves to test our abilities and it sounds like he is doing that. Keep in mind he gives us the test first and then we learn the lesson - bass ackwards I know.