Foster to Adopt in Washington State

Going through the same process....I am just in FL!

My husband and I are trying to decide between international and foster adoption. We are willing to take any sex, or race, and to work with kids with RAD, ADD, sexual abuse history ect. I am also a stay at home mom, which I know helps. BUT we have 2 children already (3 and 4) and in order not to disrupt birth order tooo much only want to go to age 5. No older. We've heard horror stories about how there are NO children that age available unless you are willing to take in an extremely medically fragile or disabled child and it could take YEARS to find a match. International often takes 2 years and its soo much more expensive. We'd much rather foster adopt. I'd love to hear any of your experience with WA state and what children are available.

We're in W WA, and were licenced through a private agency. When we went through our PRIDE training, there were several single women in our class. I don't think you should have a problem getting licenced. As for placements, a lot will depend on what you're open to, in addition to your age range. The one word of caution I would give is that there really is no such thing as low legal risk. Birth parents can work their treatment plan, relatives can come forward, a lot can happen. Best wishes! :flower: Alys1, I would be really interested in information on those support groups.

Hi all! I am also new to this. My husband and I are still researching different adoption options but I am leaning towards foster-adopt. I live in Seattle, was wondering if anyone had any feedback on any of the agencies before we move forward. If so, could you PM me?? Thanks!

I am new here but am glad I found this site! I live in Tacoma but we (my husband & I) are using a private agency in Seattle to license and through the adoption process. I am African-American and my husband is Irish-American, works from home and would be a stay-at-home father. I am 48 and my DH is 45. We are interested in child(dren) age 6-12 either gender, African-American or biracial. We were told we would not be waiting long for a placement after our orientation. We are days away from our license. I wonder if this is true? I have wanted to adopt for years but now that we are so close ... I am feeling anxiety and fear. I am channeling all the energy into decorating the two bedrooms for our future children. I submitted my FMLA at work just in case we do receive a placement right away. Thanks for reading my ramblings. I am too exicted I guess.

Tony253, after 6 years as FP, going to many foster/ foster-adopt support groups, I'd say absolutely, you will get a child right away. As a bi-racial couple, you'll be seen as culturally congruent for AA or bi-racial children. Also being willing to take older children, less people are competing for those children.Fear and anxiety? Very reasonable. My friends just didn't understand, I finally said, "OK, I'm pregnant with twins, but I don't know what ages they'll be, or when they'll arrive." Then they would say, OMG. ...Exactly. I'd be concerned about someone who wasn't worried about making it all work!Have you read up on "attachment parenting", parenting children who've been in care and have problems trusting (who wouldn't?) I highly recommend Daniel Hughes' "PLACE" model, and his books. [url=http://www.danielhughes.org/html/PLACE.html]PLACE[/url][url=http://www.attachmentdisorder.net/parenting.htm]Attachment Disorder Site - providing hope and support.[/url]Even if your children have just a bit of this, it's great to have some idea of the playing field in advance.Separately, someone asked about foster/ fos-adopt support groups in the area. Here's a link:[url=http://www.fosteringtogether.org/content/support-groups]Support Groups | Fostering Together[/url]Via "Olive Crest" and "Fostering Together". There are many more than there were years ago, and they are *great*. Great places to meet people who do respite only, people who've adopted, perhaps multiple times, people just starting, etc. Some of the trainings are good also, and help keep your license current as you get credit for attending.Finally, here's a list of questions to ask about the children. Do insist on meeting them first, if it's an adoptive placement. There's no fire big enough to transfer children to your home without you meeting them and getting a feel for them. (I met 2 boys I didn't even want to babysit, said no, and still have had multiple adoptive/non-adoptive placements.) This thread, Carmen90's lists: [url]http://forums.adoption.com/adopting-older-child/386680-weve-been-matched-now-what.html[/url]Hope this helps!

I noticed that Pierce County is lacking in the support groups department but there seems to be a lot of people in this county going through the foster to adopt process. Any thoughts on starting a support group down here in Pierce County? It seems like there are enough of us to make it work. I am located in Tacoma.

I am a Seattle transplant to Tacoma and have noticed the differences, especially in terms of resources. I know I will be needing support through this process. Years ago I was a foster home licensor, but it's totally different going through the process yourself. I've worked with children and teens in foster care and with other issues but this feels and is different. Even my sisters do not understand, they all have children, even grandchildren. So having a local group sounds perfect to me Hopeful!

Alys~ Thanks for the info. Sorry for the delay in reply. I have read everything I could get my hands-on concerning attachment and older child adoption. I even forced my husband to go through the Love & Logic CDs with me. You are right friends and family do not totally get it. I was a licensor and several of FP went on to adopt but it's different being on the other side :)

I'm is SW WA. I just wanted to chime in here in regards to something a PP said. Mentioned there really is no such thing as a low legal risk placement, and I agree. I think that SW guesses based off their experience what they think will happen, but no one can predict the future. When we got our boys we were told they would be going to family and RU'd soon after that, and we will most likely (fingers crossed!) be adopting them. When we got the call for our FD, we were told she would be going to adoption quickly and they wanted her in her adoptive home. Well, she is going to be RU'd. So until a judge signs off on the papers, you just don't know what will happen. I second the support groups. Network with local FP. Especially in the beginning. You will forget most of what you learned in Pride. It is such an emotional roller coaster - nothing can really prepare you for it. But talking with someone who has BTDT can keep you sane! Also it is nice to have support when things don't go right - like your first allegation!

Thought I'd post support group info again: [url=http://www.fosteringtogether.org/content/region-3-support-groups]Region 3 Support Groups | Fostering Together[/url] is NW WA support groups, "Region 3". [url=http://www.fosteringtogether.org/content/region-4-support-groups]Region 4 Support Groups | Fostering Together[/url] = "Region 4" -- although I believe they have changed the regions... :-) Both of those may now be part of "Region 2". Whatever! Those links have maps, which are pretty impressive!

Thanks for sharing the support group information! One meets a few blocks from my houseI'm glad that the WA state forum is becoming active

I'm in WA too!! Awaiting a call... Happy that there are lots of WA people here as well!

It seems like there are support groups everywhere except Pierce County. I am not sure how we would go about starting a support group in the Tacoma/Pierce County area but if anyone has suggestions as to how it could be done or where to start, let me know. Even if it's not a huge formal group I think just being able to get together to discuss the ups and downs of this whole process would be very beneficial. I don't think anybody understands what it's like to go through this process unless they have been through it themselves.

We're in Pierce County, and just finalized our DD's adoption, and are not on the roller coaster at the moment. But I would be happy to meet with anyone in the process, and offer support. Just let me know if you get a group together. :grouphug: