Why did you adopt or not adopt transracially

DH and I are waiting on our homestudy, and it should be completely finished in two days. :clap: We are open to any race. While our family is all CC and there is not much diversity in our community, I was raised until age 10 in a community that WAS very diverse. I had neighbors who were African American, Indian (not Native American), Vietnamese, and Hispanic. This was all on my little street of like 12 or so houses. I was raised to appreciate the cultures of others. In college, I was the girl who made friends with all the international students in my dorm because I found them interesting. I am proud of my heritage as a Caucasian and a Southerner. However, I love learning about new cultures. DH wasn't raised the same as me. He caught flack from some friends and co-workers when we started dating because I had dated interracially. That didn't bother him, and he appreciates my fascination with cultural diversity. (In fact, I appreciate all kinds of diversity.) I am not set on adopting transracially as I am also open to CC children. We just don't consider race an issue when looking at photolistings, etc. Whatever child(ren) God has out there for u will be raised to appreciate all cultures as I was. To me people are beautiful for who they are on the inside and the outside. Being different makes us more interesting to me. I realize that there will be challenges if we adopt transracially since our area is not very diverse. However, kids face challenges of all kinds. Not to minimalize the issue of race, but children are teased for being overweight, underweight, too athletic, not athletic enough, having acne, wearing glasses, going to resource classes...I could go on and on. (The difference, I realize, is that most of these types of teasing/ridicule are not usually accepted by the children's parents, etc.) I intend to teach whatever child(ren) we adopt to be accepting of the differences in others, whether it be race or any other differece. We all have something to teach each other. That is what makes life interesting. I also intend to teach our child(ren) that others WILL make fun or point out differences. I intend to teach them that while this is hurtful, it says more about the other person than them. Hopefully, my children will learn confidence (not arrogance) about who they are and know that they are loved and accepted for that. Those who cannot accept it are the ones who will lose out.

When we filled out the form for race, we checked every box, except AA. In our area, and in this day and age, racism is very much alive and well. DH wasn't sure he could handle raising an AA child, and I didn't push. Fast forward a few months and we were presented with Cam's situation. First talk with SW, Cam was 1/2 CC and 1/2 Hispanic. Few talks later, well, they were not sure on her race "she looks Hispanic". We were already in it from the first day. The moment we laid eyes on her, all trepidation vanished. Now, we know Cam's make-up, and couldn't be more thrilled. We are still scared we won't do right by her, but we are throwing ourselves into learning. It has been the most eye-opening, heart-warming, and profoundly beautiful experience in my life. She is absolutely the "right" child for us. Our plan is to move from this town in the next few years, but before we go, we will do our part in knocking down stereotypes and making sure our girl is surrounded by people that not only love her, but respect that she is a child of color. Sick of this "love is color blind" campaign. No, really it's not. Love is ACCEPTING the whole person, not turning a blind eye to something so profound. Cam will know, that she is Hispanic, Moroccan, and African American, and can be proud of that. Hmmm, soapbox much. :D

I'm not trying to sound flip but when I started the adoption process I just wanted a child. I didn't care about race or anything "simple" as that. I knew I could handle mild to moderate needs not severe either behavioural or medical (I deal with it all day at work!). I have friends that are of all colours and mixtures and have dated transracially. When I got the initial referral the caseworker said we have a "new" 3 year old was I interested. When I asked for more information she paused and said well "he's biracial" with a long pause. And? Is there something else you're not telling me because it sounds dire from the hushed, reluctant statement. Well there were drugs and he was removed for neglect but at least mom was white. I was like ok drugs and neglect are ok because mom is white? How crazy but I said I was interested. Within two days I got him and his 7 month old brother. I was soo surprised because I had put my name in for a 4 month old caucasian boy whose mom was high functioning MR and dad unknown. When I asked (naively) if I was selected they were like uhh noo you were one of almost 50 people "competing". Sadly I was the only one in my area who would take biracial when my now sons came into the system. I received so many comments from ignorant people who said ohh if I would have known they looked like that I would have taken them too - they're cute. Yeah kids are aren't they? UGGHHH it still saddens and amazes me that a child who was white with an MR mom and unknown dad would be placed so much easier than an amazing boy who is biracial. My area has alot of catching up to do I agree with jcm. we have been trying and for the most part helping to break through some of the old stereotypes/predjudices in our area. But like them we too are planning on moving in the next couple of years when my school is done to a bigger more diverse area. I do incorporate their hatian heritage and holidays. I make sure that we do spend time with others of different heritages as well. My oldest one is just starting to verbalize that his skin is a different color than mine but I reinforce how beautiful it is (frankly I'm a little jealous). Please forgive me but they are young and I use our dogs as an example - I point out that all our dogs are different colors and sizes but that we all come together and make up our family. Families are about love and each person has their own characteristics - strengths and weaknesses - we celebrate and accept them all.

My selfish reason was that I've always thought little black girls were beautiful & love braiding & doing hair. I first knew I wanted to adopt when I was 11 or 12. When I got older & learned more about it I found out that not as many couples were open to AA children, both my husband & I thought it would be good to adopt a baby that might have a harder time finding a family, & an AA girl was my 1st choice anyway. I also was hoping for a short wait time, but that didn't happen. It took about 2 years to find our little girl, who is a dream come true & totally wort the wait!

I come from a family of transracial adoption. So to me, I never even considered being only open to CC. Honestly, that would have abnormal to me. When we started our journey, our grand plan was to adopt from Guatamala. I had NO IDEA that normal people could adopt healthy children domestically. I lurked on a.com for at least a year preparing for adoption and I saw a trend of people having quick matches with newborn AA babies in the US. We put off adoption ofr a couple of years and when we came back to it, I talked to DH about adopting domestically and being open to AA and BR kids. The more we learned about it, the more we realized that we were a really good fit for an AA kid. Our town is diverse and our area of town is not only diverse but intergrated. We already have a disabled kid so we are used to standing out in the crowd and advocating. Hardly any of our friends or neighbors were couples with 2 white parents and white kids. We are interested in other cultures and have an understanding of AA issues. By the time we turned in the paperwork to the agency, we were really hoping for an picturing an AA baby boy. And we eventually ended up with a BR baby boy. We have had almost no issues that we were not expecting. Around our city, no one even looks twice at our family. Our family is actually not different or a-typical. WHen we travel to diverse areas or more segregated places (and trust me, they are two different things!) we are always caught a little off gaurd by people's response because we aren't expecting it. Interestingly, I think our biggest challenge is going to be teaching our son what it means to be an AA man in this world for people who don't live in Vegas.

We are currently matched and waiting eagerly for the birth of an AA baby boy in early July. Like many who have posted already, I just wanted to be a mom; I wasn't too bothered about the baby's ethnicity. But I did have some questions about our ability to raise a black child -- in terms of being able to do right by him, helping him feel comfortable in both black and white communities. I used to be very anxious about his teen years, worried he would confront us or feel upset about having been raised by by CC parents. Maybe it's all the reading I've been doing on transracial adoption and raising proud AA children, but I don't feel that particular fear so strongly any more (I mean, he will inevitably find some reason to be mad at us when he's a teenager, so I shouldn't waste my time worrying now about what it might be). I remember asking my husband years ago, "Would it bother you if our baby were of a different race?" He looked at me in incomprehension and said, "The baby would be of our race. It would be human, like us." But I'm not blind to the fact that there will be issues, and differences, and that this is a journey we will all be figuring out together -- as it is with any parent-child relationship. Interestingly, his emom's younger daughter is biracial, so race is something she's thought a lot about as well.

I, like Nevada Jen also live in a diverse town/suburb and not just diverse but very integrated. Most children with me wouldn't draw stares....and the fact that I would be a single mom, even less people would really question it [where I live]Obviously L is light skinned for being BR, however, my biggest challenge will be raising her with awareness of racism and what may happen outside where we live. People just think we are biologically related....there are many shades here and many interracial/ethnic marriages here with colorful kids 9x out of 10 are all biologically related. Even my cw wasn't concerned about transracial adoption as much due to the city in our county where I live for diversity and growing up with people that look like her purposes. We still had a serious chat about it.

When we applied, we checked "any race, any gender". And, like many here, I did not care if my child was purple with green polka dots! I just wanted to be a mommy. Part of our motivation was that when we met with our attorney the first time, he went over all the options with us. It broke my heart that a CC child would have a long line of potential parents, a BR or AA child might not. Like KLL08, our son's bmom didn't have that many profiles to look through, which still makes me want to cry because I think he is perfect.... It was a blessing for us though because he came home to us and he is the light of my life.:love: I think that I was pretty naive about race when we started... I have traveled pretty extensively, been exposed to many different cultures, worked with a variety of people and have had a diverse group of friends so I felt like we could help any child connect to their culture. Now, after educating myself much more on the topic, I hope and pray that I can do right by him and help him develop into a strong, secure young man. One of my concerns is that though he is AA/CC, he has light brown hair and blue eyes. I want him to be able to embrace the heritage of both his bparents as well as our heritage and not feel like he has to try to "blend" into a CC world... And yes, I am a fretter from way back :prop:ETA: DH has been out of town for the last 2 weeks, so if any of that is incoherent, I am blaming him ;)

I really love this.

We had tried to get pregnant for 8 years without success. We just wanted to be parents. We didn't care about race. In our family we have plenty of non white people in the family including Cherokee, Mexican, and Afro-Carribean members. We also have friends of many races, cultures and religions. We knew we could give any kid a great life including family and friends who looked like them. We ended up waiting 9 months. Our son is full AA. He is the love of my life.

I just wanted to adopt a kid. I mistakenly thought that it would be easier for a single woman to adopt internationally, so when I did the research on international adoption, I decided on Guatemala primarily because the children are fostered in a home rather than in an orphanage. Voila! I am now a lily-white Mom to a delightful brown little girl. Truthfully, to my chagrin, from childhood, I always thought that white kids weren't as cute as brown ones. <Shrug> I grew up in a very white suburb of Dallas and, well, white is boring. Ridiculous, I know, and not true but there it is.

What a complicated question! The short answer is that it didn't seem ethical to say we wanted this ethnicity over that one. (Obviously it is not right to fail to prepare and work to raise a child to know their heritage, understand how society may see them, and prepare them to live in a racially concious world either). I had been raised by an interracial couple and I had biracial siblings and extended family with all different backgrounds (Hispanic, Japanese, CC, AA, and others born in other countries), so it made sense for our family. I had always planned to adopt so even as a child/young adult I sort of tracked what was "popular" in adoption (Romanian, China adoption) and assumed I would also adopt internationally. Then when we actually started trying to adopt it was a different world. Romania was closed to international adoption, China's wait was way too long and we aren't old enough, we tried to persue adopting from Thailand but I didn't have documentation of infertility... so on and so forth... all doors closed... So we were left with domestic and it broke my heart to think I would be "competing" with one of you beautiful people, so we chose foster-adopt. Since we already had a million books on transracial (mostly international) adoption, it wasn't a far stretch to say that we would be open to any ethnicity. Our homestudy actually said that we would be a great fit for a Hispanic child (since that is the majority of my family), but we were placed with our gorgeous biracial (AA/?) son. Honestly when we are in public people assume he is my biological son (and when we are with my husband that maybe he was from a previous relationship). But... when we wanted to adopt again, we had our homestudy changed to say why we were a great family for an AA child. I didn't want my son to feel "alone" in the family and I thought it would be great for him to have another person to talk to about his experiences. (I also tend to think that CC children are a little to pasty - this coming from the pasty-est one around! and I am terribly jealous of my daughter's beautiful AA skin). We do constantly face the questions/stares since now that we have our daughter it is more obvious that we are not biologically related, but we are kind of an outspoken family anyway. :cheer:

My partner and I struggled with intertility for several years. I had tried several cycles of ICI, IUI and IVF before we looked into donor embryos. With our first child, we were open to every race except Caucasian (I know, very racist but I'm being honest) because I felt I could have a better connection with a minority child. However, my daughter and I look nothing alike (she is Asian American and we are both Black) and Asian culture is very different from Black American culture. Anyways for our next child (who is due is August) we decided to be open to any race and was matched with a Caucasian couple. While I will never say that race doesn't matter, I will say that I see race and culture differently because of my children. If we were going to do fertility treatments again, we would be open to any race again.

We only looked for situations with AA or Biracial children. My thought was that race is very important to some people...people who are willing to wait years for a child that is CC. For us, we had already adopted transracially and felt comfortable that we would be a good family for an AA child...so that's the only situation we looked for.

I was open to any race or mix of races. As luck would have it, the baby placed with me was biracial. I remember when the caseworker called to have me pick him up at the hospital (he was a foster child) and she gave me his name, age, where he was born and then said, "Oh, let me call you back. I need to get his race." I kept telling her that there was no need because it didn't matter to me at all, but she was adamant that she had to tell me his race. As it turned out, after all that, what she told me was wrong. :rolleyes: