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So long story short BioMom is my sister. We are having issues with BioDad he has been getting in trouble with law and arrested for violence and drugs. Condition surrender attached to adoption states 4 visits a year phone call once a week at childs discretion we have right to terminate all future visit after to cancelled visits. We have a visit tomorrow and BioDad may not come because he was jsut arrested yesterday. Honestly I do not want him to come or in my house. How do you all handle this if you have been in similar situation they live 2 hours away and do not drive (thank goodness) but it makes visits difficult. I am thinking see what happens if he doesnt show that is strike one. If he does show it will be the last visit he comes to at my home. Please help
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Courts that mandate/allow conditional surrenders should be shot. At the least, tried and convicted themselves for child endangerment. That said, how are you actually bound by this insanity? Did you sign anything? Has the adoption been finalized? If you did not sign anything and the adoption has been finalized, consult an attorney and find out if you have to put up with this crap. If not, don't. If you are bound in some way, there is always an out. Has he been convicted of a violent offense? Was it domestic in nature? If so, you may be able to go to court and get the agreement thrown out on the grounds that he is a dangerous, violent person. I know, seems obvious. That's why these agreements should never be allowed, much less mandated. And yes, of course, if he misses the visit, it is strike one. He will insist that it's not his fault and doesn't count, but be sure the missed visit is documented by a cw if you still have one. Good luck.
I would say that prob somewhere in your agreement it must reffer to what should happen if not in the best interest of the child. I would argue that because He is not in a position (on his own doing) to see the child that it is the same as a missed visit. Surely he does not think that he still has visits coming. Bottom line you are the parent here and make the final decision. Call the law guardian in your case if you had one if not and have a therapist call her. Have someone document that the visit was not in the best interest of your family.
Unfortunately he hasn't been convicted of anything recently he has multiple cases pending. One is for domestic violence the others are all drug related. If he goes to prison my problem is solved. We had the visit he somehow got out of jail in time but I had half my family there at a mcdonalds instead of the house.
I have the same contract (also kinship). We meet in their town (we live almost 2 hours away, as well). Does your child benefit from contact? Long term, will it be better having the child learn/witness their parent's flaws first hand? I completely understand being frustrated with BP and being overlwelhelmed with the certainty that life would be easier if BP would just go away. In my case, DD still loves her BM and still benefits from contact. (even when BM insists on feeding her jerky, which causes her to throw up). good luck
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