Hello

If you like you can pm me I had my son back in september

Well I wouldn't say that a week is a lot longer than planned. You are making a HUGE decision so is your child's father. You should both feel comfortable in that decision. Even if placement had happened you would still be crying I would guess. Pregnancy hormones and the thought of aodption are both HUGE stressors. So many people think that we grieve for a week or two and then we are fine. It doesn't work that way, grieving is a life long process. We are here, there are plenty of us that have placed and remember the raw emotions and have lived them for quite some time, don't be afraid to reach out.

So we signed the papers today. We ended up going with the original family we chose for many reasons. It was very difficult and emotional. I was just glad we were both able to come to an agreement, and I start therapy next week and grief counseling. I had gone to dinner last night with a couple of my friends and I was talking about how things are going to be rough for a while as I go through all this, and my one friend asked "Well you sign the papers hopefully tomorrow. Won't things get better than?" and I explained how that is only step one of a long process of healing from all this, and explained that I start counseling next week. He asked if I had to and and I said no but that I wanted to. It's hard for people to understand the raw emotions that go along with this, unless they themselves have gone through it. My one friend didn't even want to see pictures of her, as he is still angry with the way her father treated me. This has definitely been the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, but I take it one day at a time.

I am glad this is resolved for you so that you can now start the grieving process and move on with you life.I'm a bmom myself and it isn't going to be eay but it sounds like you know what to do!!

I feel so lucky to have found these forums!!! It has been really a huge support and help to me, and told the father he should come here as well, as it was a huge help to me!!

I've found people don't deal well with grief if they aren't the one grieving. People deal even worse when it's a grief like we face because not only do they not know what it feels like but they honestly don't really understand it. I think it's great you are starting counseling, I hope you find someone who helps you through this. I know finding a place to share my story here and with other bmoms in real life has truly been the thing that has gotten me through the last year.

I placed my son 20 years ago this September. I still grieve for that boy. Racilious is right about people who aren't grieving not knowing how to deal with grief. I'm glad you found this forum and I hope you find the support and strength you need here.

I know exactly the feeling you're talking about. I just had my son two weeks ago, so all I do is either cry or wait until I can be alone so I cry again. The biological father left me when I was a month pregnant and wanted nothing to do with me or the baby. I'm glad that you're situation is getting better and that you're taking the steps to make it better. It really is the hardest decision to make, but you just have to keep thinking about all the reasons you made this decision for the baby. It hurts, but it keeps you on track.

Adoptee weighing in here: Are you prepared for me to come knocking on your door 18 years from now? 20? 50? I'm a 51 year old adoptee who's birth mom has been looking for her for all these years. Problem is she went thru Catholic Charities and in 1992 she sent me a letter that I didn't receive until two weeks ago. That poor woman doesn't think I want to know her but she is so very wrong. Grieve for what you have done and in some cases adoption is right at the moment. Don't give us up for at least 6 months. Be sure. Because we will come looking in the end.