Anyone here 50ish?

I adopted my daughter from China when I was 51. She's 15 and I'm 65 now. We are still having fun. Sharon

I am 54 and hubby 53 raising a 7 year old and just matched with an 8 and 11 year old and we are NOT finished yet! Go For It!

I am 51 this year. My husband and I have adopted 7 of our foster children. The two oldest are over 18 now and on thier own. The younger children are 9,7,7,5 and the youngest is 2...she will be 3 in a couple weeks. Her adoption was final in Dec. of 2010. We are in the process of trying to adopt our last two foster sons that have been with us for the past 3+ years, they are 6 and 5. I feel that God brought these children to us for a reason :) I can't help it... I love them all

You are not alone. I am in my 40's and adopted. We are looking to adopted a girl this time. It is great that you have the 5 year old and have a young family. You simply want to add to it! Most of the folks looking to adopt are over 40. Yup - we get "Are you crazy" all the time.

Hi DDAmasa. I haven't checked this board in quite awhile. Just wanted to offer some support. We have been on the foster-adopt journey for 2 years now. We got some "are you crazy" comments when we started too. I think not only because of our age, but because of the roller coaster ride we went through to bring our DD home from Guatemala. Some folks just couldn't imagine how we could consider jumping back on. But I guess we just love roller coasters! :arrow: Best wishes in your journey!

Hi All,Is the Adoption style of choice in the 40 & up group usually through Foster / Foster-Adopt? I cannot seem to find it now, I see Larue did an International adoption. But I am pretty sure most countries are pretty strict with age ceilings. Is it that way as well with private adoptions?thank you

No hip....it's not. While many international countries DO discriminate with age....it's not that way with MANY domestic adoption agencies. Don't get me wrong, some agencies will flat out tell you that they'll not work with any couples over the age of 45yrs....and sometimes, even 40. But, many have come to realize that lots of folks are hoping to adopt at an older age.....and not necessarily through the foster-adopt program through the foster care system. Believe me when I say that adopting through the foster care system is a totally different way to parent---IF...and I stress, IF your area does not place infants for adoption unless pigs are flying somewhere, KWIM? Most areas do NOT place infants for adoption...which is why many children who are available for adoption through the system are at least 6yrs old...and if younger, they have older sibs to place with them. Be prepared for definate issues as well. While much less expensive to adopt through foster care, the emotional expense to do so with serious mental health issues in many of the children can dearly cost a parent more than money. (sigh) However, if you're active. If you're up to parenting an infant (night feedings, getting used to being the older parent at any public function for children, etc).....then you SHOULD be able to find an agency/attorney who'll gladly work with you! An adoption attorney I know pretty well has actually said that over the 20 some years of being an adoption attorney...NO birthmom has ever asked how old any of the people are on the profiles! That was always encouraging to me. We adopted our first baby when we were in our early 20's........many babies later, our youngest baby was adopted when we were in our early 50's. All were private agency and/or attorney assisted placements. It can be done. Sincerely, Linny

Your comment offends me on behalf of all foster children. And it is a good reflection of a public perception that allows thousands of kids to languish without a permanent home. We are foster parents, placed with a low to no needs infant when she was 6 days old, who came directly from the hospital to us. We are in the process of adopting her now.

MizT, Obviously, you misunderstood me and didn't read my entire post? You will notice that I excluded those who've adopted or are lucky enough to adopt infants or very young toddlers. I did not speak of significant issues with these little ones because they---more often than not---do not have the issues older children from the foster care system have. Have you adopted older children from the foster care system? Our family has. Our family was green and given the 'oh, the child needs a home' speech.......which we accepted well. Too well. Please don't assume that most older children from the foster care system don't have significant issues that require a different type of parenting. They do....and I'm not alone in my writings. Visit the 'special needs forums' and you'll read all sorts of stories from parents who struggle daily with their lives, keeping their other children safe; and just trying to get through one-more-day with their older adopted child. I have cyber friends who've been blessed to adopt infants and very young toddlers from the foster care system. As I noted above, they live in an area that I consider enlightened when it comes to the best interest of the child. Our family's area does not place the interest of the child first by alowing babies/young todderls to become adoptable; and, I daresay MOST foster care systems don't place children so young with the ability to be adopted into permanency. I wish you well and I hope your adoption is finalized within a quick time. Certainly, you're one of the fortunate ones---like my cyber-friends. Sadly, most families don't get this kind of opportunity. Sincerely, Linny

Linny, thank you for your kind response. I may have misunderstood what you were writing. And its entirely possible I am naive about older kids. I do hope that we (the system, the public) can learn to differentiate between kids with workable challenges as a result of a challenging childhood, and kids with very serious issues.Peace.

I know this is an older post, but I am an older parent of an adopted baby boy. I will be 60 in a few weeks and adopted my soon to be 3 yr old son when I was 57. I adopted through a private adoption and my son is 1/2 Guatemaulan. We seem to have alot in common and I so hope you are still a member here and that you read this post and that we can become friends and maybe share some of our experiences and give each other some support along the way!:guatemala: :grouphug: :flowergift: I hope to hear from you soon!! wv mom of :cowboy: a wonderful son!!

So glad I found this site! I have so many questions and concerns. I am 47 years old and my husband is 51. I have two bio adult children who are living on their own and two bio children ages 15 and 13 from a previous marriage. My husband has 3 adult children who live on their own from his previous marriage. In October 2010, my husband and I took in his granddaughter after CPS removed the child from the birth Mother (my husbands daughter) due to drug abuse. The granddaughter was 18 months at the time. After a year of attempting to get the birth mother to clean up, her rights were severed as well as the birth Father who is in prison. We began the adoption process in April 2011 and if everything remains on track it will be final in July 2012. The baby is now 3 years old. The birth mother has since had another baby. She wants to now see her daughter which in my opionion is not a good idea. How do we explain to our soon to be daughter why her Mom did not want her but now has another baby. Also, won't it be difficult and confusing my our daughter, since she has not seen her birth mother in almost a year and will she even remember her? It is hard because the birth Mother is my husband's daughter and he doesn't want to hurt her, were I have anger with her due to the fact that she could not give up drugs for the sake of her daughter and therefore should not get to just come back into her daughter's life whenever she wants. It also makes it difficult at family celebrations ie: Birthdays, Christmas etc because one of us has to remain home since we do not want our adopted daughter to be around her birth Mother. Am I making the right choices??? this is so very difficult. Thank you for any comments or suggestions.

We are in our 40's- my husband is almost 50. We have 3 bios, 2 are 18+ and one in 3rd grade. We thought our family was complete. We started out just wanting to foster, but a little over a year ago we had a beautiful, perfect baby placed with us. After watching the young bio parents mess up so many times, go months without any visits, we allowed ourselves to love our fd and hope to adopt soon, as TPR should happen this summer. In the meantime, bios have another baby- if it is taken (no idea why it hasn't been yet), we would love to adopt both. We don't feel old- we think having a baby is keeping us younger.

It can be challenging at times, but I believe this wholeheartedly. :) Sincerely, Linny

me, too! Getting up at all hours, crawling around on the floor- even my dad crawls around and plays- he is 75 this fall, COPD and a lung cancer survivor. Little one keeps us all energized & we love it!! I would love to have another little one so they could grow up together.....