Just a little venting...

I gave my some up for adoption when I was 18. I was with a man, boy, that called me a liar, among other things when I broke the news that he was going to be a father. He washed his hands of me and left me to make a grown up decision. I decided that the best option for my child would be to place him with a family that could provide for him in a way that I was not able to or prepared to do. On the day that I placed him with the agency, I left all of my contact information so that if he ever made the decision to find me, he would be able to. My naive brain said that it was not my right to hide from this decision, but it was his right to find out why I had chosen this. I went on to have another child 7 years later and never heard from my son. My son's 18th birthday, came and went with no word...but my son contacted me two years ago and even though we communicated, it was very brief and not very often...mostly it was me sending unanswered e-mails and FB messages. I let his birthfather know that our son had been in contact with me and they got in contact with each other. My son responded to him in a way that he had never responded to my messages... We decided to meet and I met my son a year ago and he met his birth father and his family six months ago. Our meeting went alright and from all reports, the meeting that he had with his birth father went incredibly. I found out that his birth father told my son that he never knew that I was pregnant and that if he had known, he would never have let me give him up for adoption. His entire family has said this to my son and have maligned me in any way that they can. After meeting his birth father, our contact has gone from minimal to non-existent. My son doesn't interact with me at all, doesn't reply to my e-mails or FB messages, but is in constant contact with his birth father and family. I found out yesterday that my son has come into town and never even told me that he was thinking about it. I am very hurt, but will put this hurt in the place I kept it before he contacted me...But what really kills me is what this has done to my daughter. She is devastated. She doesn't understand why her brother will interact with his birth father's children and not with her. I am hurt, sad, mad...and I don't have any words to make the hurt less for her. I can't make him be her brother, I can't make him like me...I get that, but I am dying that he has made her the collateral damage of a decision that I made so long ago, which had nothing to do with her.