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We have a visit coming up....right after I received news that makes me angry. LG is non-verbal, which was always assumed to be a result of autism, though he's very different from other non verbal autistic kids on the communication. After working with LG and consulting with others, LG's therapists have reached the conclusion its not the autism, but the neglect and lack of stimulation resulting in motor planning problems.
It just makes me angry all over again. From my perspective he was treated like an animal...and it turns out that may have not just long term, but permenant consequences. I'm blunt, and rarely care what people think so its hard for me to contain myself...and now there isn't much space between finding out and visit.
How do you deal with it (other than shaking sense into people!)?
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Believe me, I understand your anger. BTDT and still can be there sometimes. I don't know why you're having visits, unless LG isn't adopted? (If you've posted this and I've missed it, I apologize.)
I have little respect for bps who've been neglectful; taken drugs during the pregnancy; smoked whatever during the pregnancy, alcohol, you know what I mean. It angers ME when I read posts from people who seem to smooth over the details and act as though these people still 'loved' their children? I know......and I'm familiar with the diseases involved with any addictions; but I still have a very difficult time 'thinking' these are loving actions??? Naw....I don't think so.
I guess the only way I've found to deal with it is to focus on the fact these children are now my children. The people who caused SO much grief, damage, strife to their minds, bodies.....no longer are allowed to have them, period. And, I know when we used to have to do visits for children adopted from the system---and those children had afteraffects too-----somehow, I got SOME satisfaction that it was us who knew who they (the children ) really were NOW. WE were privy to their lives and how they REALLY thought of bios, etc.......
That's the only thing that got me through sometimes. That, and knowing any/all therapies, discoveries, etc *we* found to help them NOW, were due to our efforts, how much *we* loved them and cared for them. And deep down, I think the kiddos know it too. Going back to my thinking: Anyone can give birth; anyone can adopt; but that doesn't make them a parent---or even a good one, KWIM?
HTH....
Sincerely,
Linny
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Linny
Believe me, I understand your anger. BTDT and still can be there sometimes. I don't know why you're having visits, unless LG isn't adopted? (If you've posted this and I've missed it, I apologize.)