Bio relatives?

Yea, that's def a tough one! Some quick question: Why was there no post adoption contact set up with the bioparents or g-parents? And why now? Have you had the oppurtunity to ask the relative about this request? What do they think? Can you start the relationship by you emailing them? Do they already know who you are? How old is AD? What is the background of the case and will this reintro of bio's benefit her? My experience with this same scenario was not almost not a good one. I have been blindsided on a few visits when biomom brings her "friend of the week" - after that happening, she asked if biodad could come and meet our child. I said NO, if he was interested in knowing child he should not have been "anonymous" on the state's adoption paperwork. ( I know there would be no benefit, and possibly detrament, to child to have biofather in the picture). I had to tell her these were HER special days and if she choose to blindside me again, the visits were off. (as we don't have a court ordered agreement, just on good faith and a genuine belief it does benefit my child to know his biomom)

AD is now 5 years old, was 1 year old when placed with us. AD was first placed with a relative for adoption and then it was found out months later that she was disqualified to adopt, she tried to fight it in court. In the 3 months of waiting for a court decision, there was no contact with any other birth family. A while after the adoption was final the bio grandma called. I never responded and social services told her not to bother us. I have heard on the visits that the bio family wants contact, but I have never met any of them and social services recommended that there to no contact. How do I handle the families request? I think that it would not be a good idea for my AD, but I don't want this to bite me in the butt later on.:confused:

Is it possible that social services have some good reasons why they are recommending no contact that they perhaps night not have shared with you for privacy reasons (e.g., criminal histories of the family members, unstable psychological profiles, etc.)?

Is it possible that social services have some good reasons why they are recommending no contact that they perhaps might not have shared with you for privacy reasons (e.g., criminal histories of the family members, unstable psychological profiles, etc.)?

This is the situation so many of us are in, and it's tough. I don't know biofamily at all, and so I have zero level of trust that they would do what's best for DS--even assuming we both agree on what's best, which seems like a pretty big assumption. One thing I've considered is setting up a FB page specifically for contact. That way, they can see how DS is doing and hopefully feel comfortable that he is well, and I can maybe develop some trust based on their messages or comments or something. But the reason I haven't done it yet is that I'm not convinced he'll be better off with contact or even more info about them. I really just want info about them to have for myself.

Waiting- I'm curious! Is the birth family member you have court orders to remain in contact with the same one who attempted to adopt her? If not, why was that one relative given court ordered contact but the others not? If it were me I would want to get to know them better before I made any decision. I would probably start out with the private facebook idea for now and see how it goes but only if I was open to the possibility of keeping that line of communication open and possibly expanding on it. But, it's completely up to you. You can easily tell them and your daughter at this point and years down the road that "this is what the court recommended". The moment you start going beyond that you are begining to take that responsibility off their shoulders and it will then be on your shoulders. You will be the "bad guy" so to speak because you will have to be the decision maker, both to them and to your daughter. It's a difficult position to hold. I've been there myself and it's not always pretty. It sounds like these other relatives are getting updates and pictures through the one relative you do have contact with anyways. So really, it's a matter of how much contact you want them to have with you and your daughter.