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Most people arrive at Adoption after years of fertility treatment, failed IVF cycles, miscarriage, Loss etc. It is a huge decision and by then most families are financially and emotionally drained.
I have spent the last few weeks contacting different Adoption Agencies and I have received loads and loads of PDF files and now I'm beginning to despair. Nearly every one of these agenices have provided a fee structure of about $30,000 to $40,000.00.
It's looking more and more hopeless since my husband and I do not have this kind of money and even if we did, after paying these fees, we would be left with nothing. I am aware of the Tax Credit and Employer benefits but that is still too much money for ordinary people. Since I cannot imagine going through life without a child, I am at my wits end.
Is there anyone else who finds themselves in my shoes?
Is there any advice you can give me on what to do?
I'm feeling very discouraged.
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How do you find out what agencys are lower cost? If you ask an agency if they base their cost on your salary, will they tell you? We are concerned because my husband is a physician....BUT....we have a child ready to go to college in a year and are still paying his medical school loans and do NOT have money to be paying $40,000.... any thoughts?
orthodoxmom
How do you find out what agencys are lower cost? If you ask an agency if they base their cost on your salary, will they tell you? We are concerned because my husband is a physician....BUT....we have a child ready to go to college in a year and are still paying his medical school loans and do NOT have money to be paying $40,000.... any thoughts?
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I am sure that those of you who have the names of these agencies are getting sick of PM'ing these, but I am also new to the board and have been trying to find affordable agencies. Could I also get a PM with their names? Thank you so much for all your help-what a blessing this information is!
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I would advocate for picking an agency not just because of costs, you have to make sure their values match with yours and you are comfortable with how they do business. I have also heard of many people who didn't use an agency, they did an independent (?) adoption, hired someone just for the marketing, so an adoption referral service, and just paid for everything a la carte. They paid for a homestudy, then for the marketing, they did their own outreach letter/portfolio, and did everything kinda piecemeal. I know of several people for whom this worked. It took a lot of work on their part for sure, and costs aren't as controlled as there are a lot of unknowns at each step, but this is another way to approach things. For what it is worth, this is not the method we chose, but if that is what you are comfortable with, it's worth investigating.
Barksum
We aren't an AA or biracial couple, but we also didn't have much $$ for an adoption. We actually never considered domestic newborn/infant adoption, but planned to adopt from foster care due to our family history. (Dh aged out of foster care, so we were kind of more aware than the average person of the needs for adoptive families willing to adopt from foster care.) The costs we had to pay for our four separate adoptions were, in total, less than $3000.00. We adopted a child aged 2 or under each time.
We also adopted through foster care. We got two newborns and at 13 month old in a matter of 9 months. It wasn't the least stressful thing in the world, but turned out to be very rewarding. I can't imagine having any other kids than the ones we have. We plan on adopting more after we get some time to sleep through the night! We paid nothing, they paid us to foster them, and then we got a 13k tax credit for each of them. We didn't expect that! It's not what I had imagined would happen, but I guess I didn't have a very good imagination. ;)
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