Adoptive Mother's Feelings Of Betrayal

Your post is almost 9 years old. I just came across it today and I wonder how things turned out for you. On another reply to your post someone mentions a "honeymoon" phase and I totally agree with this. I am an adoptee in my 50's and about 15 years ago I met my biological father, completely by mistake. I don't want to go into details about this as I don't want one of his relatives to stumble upon this post. But I am the spitting image of my birth father and when he began doing business with my company, he would come in quite frequently and others would comment how much I looked like him and would as if he was my dad. We got to talking and it turns out I told him I was adopted and he gave a child up for adoption and we put 2 + 2 together.When we reconnected I was in the honeymoon type period. I started meeting his relatives, finding out about his family, the circumstances of my adoption, his ethnic origins, etc. But after a couple of years this all faded away. I considered him to be no more my family than a coworker or casual acquaintance. I feel no connection to my genetic relatives from him nor do I feel any connection to his ethnicity or culture. I can admit that he is my biological dad but his parents aren't my grandparents, his brothers and sisters are not my aunts and uncles. It's weird, I sort of see him in isolation like that. And it really bothered me when he's say stuff like this is your cousin, this is your ethniticy, etc, because I had no connection to those things.About 3-4 years after we meet I was really trying to find a way to break off contact with him and his family. I wanted to do it in a nice way because he had done nothing wrong, and I just didn't want to hurt his feelings. But my heart really wasn't into having a connection with him. Luckily, things just kind of slowly faded over the last 15 years. I still talk to him once or twice a year and I pretend like I'm interested or that I care, and maybe I do in some way, but I don't really feel any connection to him. To me, he is my biological father, birth father or my new preferred term "genetic father" but he's not my father, he's not my real father. But like I said, right after I met him I was in this "oh wow" honeymoon period and now he's just "there". I really don't care to know about his family, his culture, etc. even though I am the spitting image of him.