Lost and Alone

((((Layla)))) I don't know what to say, but I assure you that you are Not alone. Try not to beat yourself up so much. Try to ignore the mean people. I know it's hard. I've heard stuff like that too and it sucks. Don't believe it. You are not the reason your mother didn't keep you, I am certain of that. Do you know her circumstances? Why she had to surrender you? Why she had to let you go? I'm sure it wasn't easy for her. Try reading and typing some more here, it helps I promise. I know you are not alone in how you are feeling. :( Hope you are feeling a little better today.:love:

You are NOT alone I promise you. I know it can feel that way but once you find people who are willing to talk about adoption, you will realize you are not alone in your situation or in the way you feel.I am sure nothing was wrong with you. Maybe she couldn't afford a 5th child or didn't feel she could handle the responsibility and wanted to give you a better life than she thought she could give you. I am sure you will find others who have been through similar things because I have heard of birth mothers with multiple kids giving their last one up for adoption many times. In my case my birth mother couldn't provide me with the life she thought I deserved so she gave me up for adoption and she now has 3 sons (who have no idea they have a half sister). Honestly though, I would much rather have the life I have with the parents I have than be a part of the life that they have.I have never heard of kids being so mean about another child being adopted. I hope you aren't cutting anymore, a lot of adopted kids end up having behaviors such as cutting, depression, substance abuse, eating disorders but they can be overcome. You are worth so much more than that. The fear of abandonment and rejection is innate in a lot of us (adoptees). Try not to let it consume you too much, there are plenty of people out there capable of loving and committing to you. Are your adoptive parents some of those people?? Good luck with everything. Everything will be ok if you stay positive. Adoption is a blessing, even though it can leave you with questions and sometimes bring sadness, in the end it is a true blessing. <3 This is my Vlog: [url=http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=UUXicJSZm00bamuNRrqfIPzw]Uploaded videos - YouTube[/url] I talk about adoption from the perspective of an adoptee and post a new video every Sunday. :)

Well, I not sure what to say either. Look, the thing I probably won't understand is why kids are teasing adopted ones. They are just as good as the others. So why making fun of someone's drama? ________________ [url= ] flv to avi converter[/url]

Layla, I read your post and felt so strongly for you because I have been in that exact same place before for a good portion of my life. And I need to tell you that it CAN and does get better. You just need to be open to change and open to digging down deep to figure this all out. I have been in therapy, I have done a lot of changing, and self reflection, I have pushed myself to remember who I am and I know what an amazing person I am. I even have set reminders on my phone throughout the day to bring my wandering mind back into reality and remember that I am an amazing kind funny smart person and that people do love me. If I can learn to love them back, they won't leave. All I have ever done is push people away and it's done nothing but hurt me and the people I love. So I decided to take a stand and take back who I am because I know that I wouldnt be this amazing person I am if I hadn't been adopted and that's the absolute truth. I felt how you feel for years, even was cutting as well. Then I met my biological family and I knew that they weren't my family. After that I realized that I needed to get myself on the right track. And I am just starting to feel comfortable loving fully and it feels amazing. You are so not alone in this. Seek a counselor, or a group in the community, or talk to us! All of those things have helped me. Send me a private message and I'll give you my email. Have a good day :)

Hi Layla and all other adoptees who feel as lost.... As a birthmother, I can't really imagine how it feels to have been on the other end of the situation and I'm sorry. All I can say is that I also have 2 children now after having adopted out my first (regretfully most of the time). I love my first just as much as I love the 2 that live with me now. She has always been in my heart and mind and will be until I die. I just know that, in my situation, I was young and didn't feel like I could not offer her the life she deserved. I did find a great family for her who, unfortunately, did not keep in touch and have, in fact, turned her against me- very sad. But enough about me. I am writing this to let you know that you birthmother loved you enough to provide a better option for you than she was able to herself (or whatever reason she chose at the time). You are just as important as her children are that live with her. It was a hard decision for her to make and I'm sure she deals with it every day. Just know you are loved. We all have our crosses to bear in life and must try to help other people with what we learn from our pain. God Bless You and please feel free to communicate. I know your pain from the other side of the situation. I have never stopped feeling it myself.

Hi Layla, I'm glad you had the courage to share your experience and feelings with others. As I read your post, my heart broke, and I felt nothing but Gods love and compassion for you. I'm coming from the other side, where I have an adopted son. I know that his birth parents loved him so much that they gave him life but because they couldn't take care of him, they found parents that could. My love for him will never end, and I will always be there for him as his mom. I would imagine that your adoptive parents love you more than you could ever know and would never give up on you either. There are times where it is helpful to just talk with someone that can listen with a caring heart. From my experience with Focus on the Family, IҒve become aware of some very helpful resources such as Free [url=http://bit.ly/GTRNHd]Counseling[/url]. Also, I found the articles, [url=http://bit.ly/HkFZXJ]Answers for Cutters From the Bible[/url] and [url=http://bit.ly/Hdc5M8]Why was I put up for adoption?[/url] that relates to some of the things that you shared. I hope you will keep reaching out to others and I will be praying that you will begin to know how important you are in this world, how much you are loved by God and your family, a love that will never end!

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