Question for expectant/birth mothers

I really don't think there is a "right" answer. I think that your e-mom is out there and she will find you! the reason I don't think there is a right answer is because I really think that all e-moms look for different things, based on what is important to them. I've talked to moms and they said I looked for this and I looked for that, but I didn't look for any of those things. I did look at appearance, I wanted a family that little man could "fit" into and people wouldn't automatically say "where did he come from". I looked at pictures, I wanted to see that they looked happy together and didn't "need" a baby to "make" them happy. I looked at length of the marriage, because while I know there are no "absolutes" I wanted a couple that had been married for awhile. I looked at their interests, I wanted a family that liked the beach, because I do, I wanted a family that valued education and loved to read. I looked at animals, because I feel like growing up with animals can help a child learn to be loving and kind to smaller things. I looked for honesty, they said what they meant and meant what they said. I looked for a father that would be active in the kids lives, because I saw how painful it could be when the father wasn't all that interested with my two parented children. Be up front, be yourselves, be honest and I think that you will definitely find the right match for you! Good luck :-)

We are looking for someone to love our baby unconditionally... and also someone who will love us and not judge us. we want our children to have the best that we cannot give them. everything else, it doesn't matter. you'll see one day... the only thing a birthmom wants is to know that you will love our child that we are trusting into your arms and that you will, if its open, or semi open, one day let them know that we loved them enough to give them the best, and the best was you!! :) many blessings upon your journey!! lindsie

Everyone is different is what would be most important. Some people look for religion first or location or finances. When I found the couple I wanted for my son, I just felt like they were a great match overall. We talked on the phone for a few months and then met and the meeting is what made me feel like I was truly making the right decision to go with them. I think if a person makes the profile based on what they think a birth mother is looking for it won't show your genuine self. You'd rather have a great match than one that just isn't going to work out in the end. I would say just be honest about the aspects of your life you are sharing on your profile and trust that the right match will happen. :)

Thank you for the advice above. My husband and I are also trying to adopt, and realized we just have to be real in our profiles, because we want the best match for both sides. As an add-on question, how do you recommend PAPs reach out to expectant women? We have made a blog, YouTube video, profiles on a few sites,email, toll free phone number, and adoption business cards. We are also about to do newspaper advertisements. Are there any other things we should try? Thanks in advance! Jen

Well try an agency. The one I went through is chosen child in Dallas. They're affordable, Christian, and they are such a wonderful agency. Look them up on facebook. Chosen Child Adoption Agency in either Allen Texas or in Dallas Texas. I always forget. But hey, Allen is in Dallas lol. Good luck to you & your husband! I wish you the best!!! :D :flower:

Also, you said profiles on several pages, if you haven't done facebook, you might try that. I found a couple, that if I had found first, I would probably have chosen on facebook. SO that could be an option as well, and friend everyone, then ask them to friend everyone and so on. :-)

LLise- Thank you for the tip about Facebook! I just created a page tonight. B-mom- Thank you for the suggestion too. We have decided to try independent adoption for now, but if we want to sign with an agency, I'll definitely look into the one you mentioned. Thanks! Any other expectant moms have suggestions? Do people still look at newspaper classifieds? :)

We have a clinic here <Alabama> that does free pregnancy tests and are a religious type place that advocates against abortion. They discuss adoption as an option, you might see if there is a similar place where you are and if they would be willing to let you leave some 'flyers' with your basic info and a little bit about you, Then when they discuss adoption with a young lady they could say 'and we have a profile on a family that is looking to adopt.' I don't know if they are allowed to do that, but it couldn't hurt to ask.