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:( My son was adopted in 2004. my option from my understanding was to go through with allowing the adoption to go through to provide my son with the best care, at the time I was only thinking of him I didn't take how it would affect me and my own feelings, I havent seen him but from a picture. Every time I see it I get a bit depressed almost to an extreme but I keep in the back of my mind there will be a day where he will want to find me. That usualy snaps me out of it but there is still that void in my life that even though I have re-married and moved it is still there. I want some kind of contact with him for one to let him know I still care and want to be somehow in his life. I call my son Bam Bam since that was the nickname that best fit him. I could make this a 10 page book but the more I talk about it the stronger the depression so I will stop for now.
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It's so hard to know how relinquishing a child will affect us down the road. It is very hard. What kind of adoption was arranged? You said you had a picture, so is there a possibility of getting more updates in a semi-open situation? Or are you thinking you'd like to have things open up to an OA? I'm not sure when you said you wanted contact to mean when he is of age, or you'd like to open things up now. Did you go through an agency? I'm wondering if you could write letters to your son so he will know you are thinking about him. If you don't have an agency to use as an intermediary or if they won't act as one, you could still keep a journal for your son so he can have that should he ever seek you out. It might also help you with the depression if you could work with a counselor and get your feelings out. As much as it hurts, you can't just bottle it all up inside.
My son now is 10 going on 11 so I dont think he is of age yet but I realy dont know anything about that. The adoption was not my idea nor was it even anything I had ever considered, I would have raised him as a single father and that would have been fine with me I had enough support from my side of the family. Department of Human Servises was the institution who placed my son into Foster care and pushed for the adoption due to what they thought they saw and not what actually was. I believe and dont quote me on this because I still have a problem with it is In the State of Hawaii when one parent looses their Parental rights ( in my case it was my Ex-Wife) so does the other Parent. :mad: I would never have let DHS or child servises talk me into allowing the adoption to go through if I had any idea that I could have had my son with me. I do journal and keep a second one for my son when I get the chance to see him again and the only picture I have was from when my mother had brief contact with DHS and child servises received the pictures from them. I have done all the searches I know how to do for any reason or possibility of having the adoption overturned and my son returned to me but I have found nothing. I feel lost and alone, Angry at the situation, and irritated that I can do nothing about it. when I was told I could allow the adoption to go through and still have contact with my son I was thrilled, BUT once the adoption went through Poof I have had no contact and no way to try to gain contact with my son it is like he just vanished.