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Yesterday we went to the zoo. It is in a big city near our home and there is plenty of diversity there, so perhaps my guard was down a bit. We went with my best friend and three of her kids (biracial), my sisters, and my niece. It was really a ton of fun.
Anyway, we were in the Africa part of the zoo and J was in the stroller. We were walking along this bridge that is only wide enough to two across (with strollers) and this woman walking towards us point to J and says, "That baby has the native hair of Africa." She was laughing along with a friend after she said it. I was sort of in shock, but just kept walking as to not hold up traffic. It really bothered me though. Yes, we joke that J has a baby afro, but I just don't understand how people can say things like that without thinking about it. I really don't know what I should have said.
Here is our handsome little dude.
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Honestly, I think the only response that is acceptable in that circumstance is "YES! and isn't it beautiful?"Reality is your kiddo DOES have hair that shows an African heritage. It's not a bad thing (and absolutely her comment was stupid) and reflecting back at those that infer it IS A negative thing and making them realize the idiocy of their statements is the only thing that works. My son has long locs (grown 5 years now) and he gets MANY MANY comments. You learn to deal with them.
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GATI
I would have said back, "Really? That's interesting because he's from Scandinavia!" But then again, I sometimes get myself into trouble :P
I think I went to grade school with her. I think I know just how she sounded. This confirms my suspicions -- she never matured beyond that mean, self-centered little girl who was oh so willing to make fun of *anyone*, if it seemed to her it would elevate herself in the eyes of her little clique.I've always thought it must be a miserable life, to be such a person. Or as I tell my own children, "Better to see them than to be them, even if it's annoying to see them."
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I also agree that was a really stupid comment. I would have probably given her a dirty look and shaken my head and maybe said, "good grief" or something. Your baby is adorable! It looks like his hair is just like my youngest daughter's. She was born with a head full of thick, black hair, which was only a tiny bit wavy. Your little guy was, too, if I remember right! Joanna had quite a fluffy "afro" by the time she was close to a year old. Its no where near as tight as my AA son Joseph's though. His is way too tight for an Afro. He kept trying to have one, until Joanna's Haitian birth father, who is a barber, came to visit and told him that his kind of hair was not afro material. My biracial son, Thomas, who looks more black than most biracial kids, overall, got barely any curl at all. As a teen, he really wanted to have an afro, or cornrows, We got cornrows, once, but they just wouldn't stay in for more than a couple days, because it was too straight.
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