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Hello - I see a lot of talk about confidentiality of the biological parent. But what about confidentiality of the foster parent? Can the biological parent find out where the foster parent lives, and possibly do harm to the foster parent? Not that they would but just wondering. It seems unethical for a bio parent to know where the foster parent lives, and vice versa. Thanks for any input you have.
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Well in our state it is illegal to do that. In Illinois it's a Class A Misdemeanor.
tabg
In my area, they leave it up to the foster parent if they want to reveal that information. In our case, the bio's best friend works for the post office and I believe she gave them our address. She knows the address and I can't imagine any other way she would know it.
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I OH, there's house bill 214 and a court case between the Cincinnati Enquirer or gannett? The outcome was that FPs have the right to remain private. This is the law, but what is "highly encouraged" is a different story. There's even an urban legend where a foster family got a placement disrupted for hesitating (not refusing) to meet the BF face to face. :cop:
I know it is different area to area but State of Wisconsin mandates that biological parents are to be given the name and address of the foster parents unless the information would put the child in immediate harm. I was pretty nervous about this because most of our foster kids come from relatively close by because we live near the lower income neighborhoods. However, I have never had a bio parent show up at my house uninvited and we have had 27 kids.
My sister has had two placements, and both times the parents have shown up at her house, but not to knock on the door. One of them walked by a couple of times, the other made phone call death threats and gave them their address and I think drove by at least once or twice during that time. She is not really from a very small area either. But also they are pretty free about sharing information. I know with their first placement (two full siblings they've adopted) the bio grandparent and aunt know where they live and have been over their house. I don't think they gave the info to the second placement, but they are located near DHS and there is a chance mom followed them, or saw info on a court document. Our LW told us they try to remain confidential, but sometimes the court documents which are sent to everyone have addresses on them....
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To be honest, just because it's illegal to release an FP's address, doesn't mean you are any safer. A family member or friend may still hand it out regardless of any consequence. Besides, you may not even be able to prove who did it. In this day and age, you just have to recongise that there is a risk, and you have to accept that. Try and minimise it of course, but don't be hugely shocked if your address gets sent out anyway
I called my CW after our last court hearing. The minute order said: Placement recommendation upheld to remain in CONFIDENTIAL foster home. Defacto parent status granted to Mojo and Moja Foster. Um... ok, so you CONFIDENTIAL us at one point and then put our names RIGHT THERE on the very next line? I was upset, and I asked the CW about it. She told me that the mother had come in to her over a year ago and told her where I live. The family bragged about following me home. You need to do what you can to stay safe. Period. You never know who knows what.
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takeuwithme96
I hear you - that is awful. So I am hoping to avoid that kind of situation. Giving out the CW address at Dr's ofc etc sounds like a good plan tho. Technically, bio parent is the legal guardian of everything to do with child before TPR so I will think of it that way and be careful. I am not saying that the bio parent would ever be mean or violent, but I like to think on the safe side. I think teaching that to a child shows boundaries you are setting to prevent future harm from happening. Of course nothing is 100% secure but hopefully 99% secure if I can create it that way. I mean I think if I was bio parent (which I never would be if it had anything to do with abuse - but other reasons like I became homeless for non-abuse reasons) I would not be violent towards FP but I would probably not like the person even if I seemed nice and friendly to them. If I get a child who has been abused - I will be nice and friendly to the bio parent just to keep the peace, but deep down I will be angry that someone could do that to a child. As I a learning there are many 'fronts' you have to put on to people (adults) except the child while still teaching and loving and caring for the child the best you can. I would never want to turn a child away from their bio parent but I would always support a child who wished for a loving and dependable parent that they deserve. As Kahlil Gibran says Children are not our own. Your children are not your children. They are sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you. And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. "
I'm in Californiua and our first and last names were given out to the first two families. The first family we never had any problems with because they disappeared off the face of the earth. Our 2nd placements family found out our address by the caseworker slipping them that tidbit of information and by using google. My husband has a very uncommon last name and I mean extremely common so when you google his name thanks to zillow, google and all the other crazy websites you can find us. I think its pretty sad that everyday people cannot have any privacy. For our third and current placement I requested that my hubbies name be omitted from the paperwork and I explained why. I have not had any issues with this family knowing our location which is great because this mom is extremely EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE...and it would not be a great idea for her to have our address. They say we are entitled to confidentiality but I think you have to really fight for it.
One thing to consider if you're extremely concerned about keeping confidentiality is the age of children you're willing to foster. Most school-aged children will be able to tell their bio family where they live - if not the exact address, then they could recognize familiar roads or even stores in the area for the BPs to narrow down your location. Like many have said, if someone is determined to find you, chances are good that they will. Invest in a good security system if you feel vulnerable, or find out about a neighborhood watch. Explain to neighbors your situation and they can be extra eyes and ears. Most of all - just as the bio parents can find out about you, you can also find out about them. We didn't even have our children's mother's correct last name on their paperwork and my husband still managed to find her in court records. Their father is on facebook. Our first court visit, we knew exactly who they were based on mug shots and were able to avoid them - out of safety concerns, because BD has a hefty arrest record. Of course, once the CW got there, she told them who we were, but at least we were fore-warned.
As far as confidentiality in Ohio , there is a LAW that says CPS can't reveal your name to anyone, publically- if you don't want it known. That would include the bios. I think the only time it can be made public is when you have your licensed completely revoked by Ohio Dept. of Job and Family Services after being convicted of certain crimes. I agree that it is wize to know about the birth family. How much is too much? In our area, bio aunts seem to feed a lot of info. After while, it is overwhelming. Sure enough, info from aunts ends up being true and the CW more or less lied. It's kind of frustrating finding out via the aunt and the internet rather than CPS.
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Here it is supposed to kept confidential but like you said, things happen, information accidentally is given, etc. I attended a staffing for my fk via conference call from my office. We were all going around introducing ourselves, and I blurted out my first and last name, not realizing that the bio parents were at the staffing! I'm new to this and I wasn't aware that the bio parents were invited to the staffing! So then I got really paranoid and checked my facebook settings, made sure all privacy settings were on lockdown, and checked internet search engines like the white pages, and removed my name from them. The mom has no criminal history but her mom was convicted of second degree murder and bio dad has a huge rap sheet of violent crimes. Scary!!!
This. My kids were all older. My oldest was in the process of telling his bio mother our address but I caught him. My youngest told their bio mom when I wasn’t around.
One thing to consider if you're extremely concerned about keeping confidentiality is the age of children you're willing to foster. Most school-aged children will be able to tell their bio family where they live - if not the exact address, then they could recognize familiar roads or even stores in the area for the BPs to narrow down your location. Like many have said, if someone is determined to find you, chances are good that they will. Invest in a good security system if you feel vulnerable, or find out about a neighborhood watch. Explain to neighbors your situation and they can be extra eyes and ears. Most of all - just as the bio parents can find out about you, you can also find out about them. We didn't even have our children's mother's correct last name on their paperwork and my husband still managed to find her in court records. Their father is on facebook. Our first court visit, we knew exactly who they were based on mug shots and were able to avoid them - out of safety concerns, because BD has a hefty arrest record. Of course, once the CW got there, she told them who we were, but at least we were fore-warned.