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i understand that when you adopt extra support is needed. however i feel that help should be given when requested. people at times feel since i am not the biomom that my son is being raised by them as well. i get the well let him stay with me i will get to the bottom of that behavior. he gets mad at me and the advice he gets is well when you are 18 yrs old you can move..oh really and as an 18 yr old is he going to have a job that pays for an apartment and college. then he is told dont change your last name that is what you have of your family, yet again hate to burst the bubble of the community but his biomom was so high she gave him a made up last name no one in his bio family has that name. bvut the thing that gets me the most is that at imes he listens to these people as if they are gurus and doesnt realize the grass is not always greener on the other side and for every complaint that he has of me their children have of them. ans the dumbest omgoodness your son is so helpful i would have adopted him first, thats not even funny. does anyone esle experience the world of ignorant to adoption and how do you handle it? and for adoptees why is it so easy to listen to others over your parents?
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I totally get this! My husband and I are in the process of adopting our two kids. Our biggest problems are the grandparents. My dad and my husband's mom... they think we are being too strict when we insist they FINISH THEIR HOMEWORK!! Seriously?
They seem to have forgotten what it was like to be a parent. My dad keeps saying things like, "they're just kids- all kids act like that" or "three days with no TV is WAY too long!!" in response to the junk behaviors like lying, hitting, etc. My response is, "so, I'm not supposed to address this?!" I caught my mother-in-law giving PRESENTS to my child who was in his room for the day for punching a kid at school- she says "so he would have something to do while he's in his room". You have got to be kidding me!
I'm not sure when these people were nominated for Parent of the Year, but a little support without being so judgemental of the circumstances that they do not see everyday, since they don't live with us, would be nice! Our house rules are clear and consistent. They are easy to follow- do you homework, then you can have free time the rest of the night... one chore a week... no lying, no hitting, no stealing. But apparently I'm running a concentration camp according to them. Hahaha.
I totally feel you- It is definitely because the kids are from the "adoption community" that people somehow feel that my kids aren't really "my" kids since they'll be adopted. Well, they ARE MY KIDS and in any case, they aren't YOURS, so if you would like to give this a whirl, go adopt your own!
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totally understand the gold medal of parenting. even if they are good parents being an adoptive parent has some what of a different spin. my son is odd and has been abused and had to manipulate to survive so excuse me if i dont take your advice. my son can be loving but he can kiss you ans stab you in the back at the same time. i feel like if you ae not a social worker give advice if i ask. other than that shut up. i hate hearing oh yeah but that is just the system talking im like really were you in the system, do you have adoptive kids, o ok be quiet. i have boys i dont give advice to women that have daughters i stay in my lane. i feel like i cant parent him at times, he dated a girl once and her sister said it was unnatural of me to be so involved in his life because he wasny really my son. he is my son im raising him loving him and providing for him like whatmore do these people want if you dont like adoption make large group homes and bann it but if they are not going to do that let adoptive parents be