China Adoption

There is a LOT of attrition. After 5 plus years, people are finding other ways to adopt, or getting pregnant, or simply deciding they are too old to wait any longer, or choosing SN adoption. A LID refers to Log In Date. Having 233 LIDs ahead of us means there are 233 days ahead of us, before we are matched, including weekends. But, right now, China is referring between 3 and 14 days per month (including weekends), and there is no rhyme nor reason for the pattern.The current wait for NSN is about 5 and a half years. For each month logged in, China seems to refer between 3 and 14 days of that month, and the referrals only come about once a month. There used to be a pattern to it, but now there really isn't much of a pattern at all. Some say China is referring a certain amount of days per year (which, for the past 3 or 4 years has been 2-3 log in months per year). While others say it is a certain amount of children per year, to keep the NSN girls being raised within China, even though they are in orphanages and foster care at best- and that would be why some months there are more referrals than others. For us personally, as of this month, we have waited exactly 5 years, and our LID is April 17th, 2007 (Happy waiting anniversary to us!.. ugh). China is currently on the September 2006 LIDs. So, for us, that gives us another 6 and a half LID months. Assuming China refers 2 weeks of LIDs per month, we would get our referral in 13 months. But, we also have to account for the months when there are less than 2 weeks of LID referrals, so I'm assuming it will be around 2 more years. When we first started, the wait was 16 months and we were told to prepare for 28 months. So, I doubled that and decided it would REALLY be around 4 years so that my first DD would not get her hopes up. Wrong again. It's really not the norm to wait for NSN children any more. Now, the norm is to wait for SN children, which can still take around 1 and a half to two years, while the SF (Special Focus) children have become the new SN children. Special Focus being children who are older or have a lot of medical issues diagnosed already. There's been talk that some agencies are rewarded with more of the minor SN children if they encourage more SF children to be adopted, and that is a bit controversial, both in the practice as well as the idea that some PAPs might not be as ready as they thought they were to handle SF. As for us, we are still holding out for NSN. There's a division sometimes between those who wait for NSN and those who actively seek SN children to bring home. I say to each his own. Sometimes I wonder what the heck we're doing. Im 50 already, and DD is 7. But she is so very good with younger children, and she still insists that she has a younger sister yet to be born. So as long as she holds onto that, I'll hold onto that. DH has always been committed to bringing home one more.The saddest part of this whole journey for us though, is that we rarely talk to family about it any more. My mom is concerned about my age and having a baby or toddler again, and others in the family just stop asking about it. So, it's something we keep the joy for, just within our immediate family. And that's much different from when we were adopting our first DD, when it only took 9 months.