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Hi. I'm a 19 year old girl from Pennsylvania, and I'm looking for my Birth Father. I think I found him on a site called Zabasearch, and it gave me 2 addresses and a phone number. I hope to establish contact with him in the next year. My dad suggested sending a blind letter to the addresses with a picture of my birth father, with a letter asking if it's him, and give my email address. I was wondering if I could get some feedback, and/or other recommendations. Thank you!
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The plan you have sounds good...but I am fearful for you, as reunions are extremely complex and can be overwhelming. Who do you have to support you in this endeavor?
Fondly,
Julie
Reunions are Complicated:
[url=http://www.soarvoicesofgsa.com]SOAR: Voices of Genetic Sexual Attraction[/url]
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Well, I have my Adoptive parents, mostly my dad, and I also have my fiance. I'm thinking of waiting a bit, because I'm in a big transition, (getting married, moving out...) but once I'm settled down, I'd like to try to initiate contact. I just wasn't sure how to go about doing that.
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We all need to prepare. Easier said than done :)
[url]http://www.adoptionhealing.com/Preparation%20for%20Searching.htm[/url]
Read up on how adoption trauma affects children and parents. [url=http://www.adoptionhealing.com/Reading%20List.html]Reading List[/url]
Determine some guidelines and boundaries.
[url=http://www.adoptionhealing.com/rules.html]Adoption Reunion - Guidelines for reunion for those separated by adoption[/url]
Once we're prepared we no longer have a fear of rejection or abandonment. Nor will we have wished that we never searched/reunited.
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Thank you. It was a very interesting read. I'm not really afraid of rejection, because I'm not expecting to start up a relationship or anything, at least not right away. He had Schizophrenia and abused me severely. The only reason I currently want to find him is to let him know I have forgiven him, and to let him know that I turned out, for the most part, ok. I've often wondered if he thinks about me, or if he wonders if I'm ok despite what he did. If he wants to strike up a relationship, I will only do so when I feel absolutely ready. But my adoptive dad told me that the longer I wait, the less chance I have of finding him alive, and I want to let him know I've forgiven him and turned out mostly ok before it's too late to do so.
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