I am so embarassed to even ask this

Yes -- AA skin is very, very dry and needs to be 'oiled' or moisturized every day. Many AA people do use vaseline (also possibly in his hair) if he is not being provided with other alternatives -- hair products and skin creams. Skin gets "ashy" and hair gets dry and unkempt. Have you taken him to an AA hair care store? Bought him moisturizer? All important needs for most if not all AA people.

[url]http://www.pacwcbt.pitt.edu/curriculum/937-2.%20african%20hair%20and%20skin%20care/workbook/curriculum%20workbook.pdf[/url][url=http://www.thegrio.com/health/skin-hair-care-tips-for-black-men.php]Skin and hair care tips for black men[/url]Some tips for you :)

My AA niece doesn't use vaseline, but I have heard my sister say that she goes through lotion like crazy and I've seen her skin turn a flaky white when she's gone a few days without it.

Their skin gets really dry & ashy, so rubbing Vaseline or another oil or lotion on it moisturizes it & makes it shiny. I like to use cocoa butter, shea butter or coconut oil on my daughter.

Yes to be clear, Vaseline is the cheapest (and least good) option. He might be using it because he has no other choice if moisturizer and hair care products have not been provided for him.

My DH goes through Vaseline like crazy! He uses it in place of lotion, Conditioner, first aid cream, you name it. He and his mother think Vaseline is the solution for everything, even though his barber told him it ultimately dries his hair out...while he still uses it in himself, he HAS relented to using other/better products on our son.

I agree with everyone else! My kids all have dry skin and it is extremely noticeable on their darker skin. I used tons of moisturizer on them when they were little and now that they are 16, 18 and 23, they use tons on themselves. They haven't used Vaseline, but I know some people do. I think the idea of taking the young man to a store that has products for African Americans is a great idea. Some chain stores, like K-Mart and Target, have sections of such products. There might be something he would like to try that would work better for him. My kids love Malibu Hemp lotion, for one. I used to use lots of Eucerin cream on them. It is fairly greasy, although not as much as Vaseline, but their skin really soaked it up, and so did my darkest son's hair.Isn't it nice to have a place like this to ask questions? I had always had a multiracial group of friends, including boyfriends. I didn't expect there to be many surprises when we adopted our 23 YO son, but found that there were many things that had just never come up with my friends, like skin and hair care and Mongolian spots. I felt a bit justified when I saw a high school friend from Hawaii who is Filipino. Joanna, who is Haitian/Filipino, was with me and was still a toddler. Mongolian spots are very common in Filipinos but, when my friend saw Joanna's, when we went to the beach, she had no idea what they were. She hasn't had any children, and it had just never been brought to her attention before, either.

Seriously nice to be able to get feedback on these questions. I am sure as our little 3yo moves in I will have MANY MANY more. I haven't taken my FS to anywhere in particular to go shopping other than Target. He was able to pick anything he wanted though. He said he doesn't use shampoo, which didn't surprise me, I barley use it myself. He just got deodorant a good brush (that he was so happy about because it was one HE would use rather than his sister's kind) and body spray. When we got home he asked if I had anything for acne and I gave him a tube of my moisturizing facial cleanser for extra sensitive skin. That seemed to work ok. One of the only lotions I can use is the Cetafil so I keep that around. That one was listed on one of those great little training sheets. (thanks for those btw) Maybe he was just never given an option other than Vaseline. Maybe that is just what he knows. For our incoming STBA son, I think I will ask his current foster parents what he is using. Thanks so much for helping!

Also, keep in mind that he may not know that much about the products available. That would be why he uses Vaseline...just sticking with a known quantity. With my kids, I will try a product if I see someone mention it on here. A lot won't work for my older two children but will for my youngest. If you hear/see something about a product that may be a good replacement, mention it to him and ask if he'd like to try. It really is a trial and error thing. I'm caucasian and when I lived in the midwest the only thing I found to work for winter WAS Vaseline. I'd smooth it on while still wet from the shower. Much less goopy. Even my face! Haven't had to do that since moving to the Gulf Coast. I've found olive oil to be the miracle worker for my older two, whose scalps will get super dry. Once a week I apply it (warmed) and let it sit while in the bath, rinse, then use conditioner to wash their hair. I'll use it in the bath water in the winter. Otherwise it's lotion slathering every day. For showering, he could apply it while wet then pat dry. The towels have to be washed frequently, though, because of the oil.

Um, well, are you sure he's really using it for a skin/hair issue. Teenage boys do use vaseline for, well, um, you know, other things...Did you know there's a happy banana icon? Sooo, if he's got hair care/skin products but still needs the vaseline, maybe its a conversation a trusted adult male should be having to ensure he has need and appropriate supplies.

THANK YOU LADY. . . cause that's what I was thinking too. This might be one of those situations where its not a "black thing" at all ;)

AA people have different skin needs than CC. They need intense moisturizers. Vaseline is used as an inexpensive but really good moisturizer. AA young men with "Ashy" skin are teased unmercifully in my experience. Like lotion, vaseline can also be used in "other ways". lol Just buy it for him and don't ask questions. With the three year old you may try the vaseline, or you can get shea butter, coconut oil, or any other intense moisturizer. I like coconut oil. I have hispanic kids with some of the same problems. Coconut oil smells nice and can be used on hair and body. The jar needs to be set in some warm water for the oil to liquify before using.

OMG you got a ton of responses while I was responding. Didn't mean to repeat! lol Some of the better products are quite expensive and he dosn't think he should ask for them, or he may just want to stick to what he is used to. Orrrr.....

yes, vaseline is commonly used for skin moisturizing. It's easy to find and inexpensive. I prefer coconut oil for my kids' skin (and hair) . I prefer something that is a natural product,and smells nice too.

hehe I was just coming back to this thread after many months. Your all's "other needs" is why I was wondering exactly what he was using it for. I mean, those are some really frequent needs if he is going through that much! All kidding aside though. Thanks for all the suggestions on products. Our little 3 year old that is coming also has some eczema issues. I am going to ask what they are currently using but am duelly armed with a plethora of other ideas if those aren't doing the job. Thanks!