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We are in the process of disrupting a placement that is taking way to long to end. We have not informed our FD yet, because there is nowhere for her to go, but in lieu of that... Yesterday her CW came over and she informed her she had decided whom she wanted to adopt her. Her friend's parents. She and I and the guidance counselor discussed this at school later and then they talked alone and she said she is done with us and our rules. We expect her to be perfect. She shrugged her shoulders when asked if she got along with our son and said he is mad at her all the time. Everyone is mad at her all the time. Now we are planning on staying two days at the beach for memorial day and I am afraid of what could occur while we are there. I called my worker since I just found out literally minutes ago what she and the guidance counselor had discussed. Is there emergency respite and what if no one is available?
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If this were me and there was no one to do respite, I wouldn't go. I know it sounds like she's winning, but honestly, you are disolving placement so what's the harm in enjoying a trip to the beach in a few more weeks? It will be disappointing to your son but perhaps you could stay an extra day or do something extra special when you do go to make up for it. Another option is to see if her friend's parents could take her. She'd be good as gold for them and you guys could enjoy the beech. It will also further their image of you as creep parents for leaving her with them and not taking her with you-- so you'd have to weigh whether or not you care what they think about you with the opportunity to get away...if they are even available. We took our son to the beach once (overnight, not just the afternoon) and it was MISERABLE, no doubt for him as well as us. He couldn't handle anything like that and we never did it again until he was gone.
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I agree completely with both of the previous posters. Another thing to consider is the possibility of your FD causing very serious problems. I don't know how intense her behaviors have been; but some kids will go to great lengths to 'leave an impressive mark' on the former family, KWIM?
If she's a child who lies incessantly---and is capable of lying about your family being 'inappropriate'....it would be posssible for her to cause such an event during what would otherwise be a fun time for the rest of the family.
I'd cancel my plans for the beach; wouldn't give a flip what others thought'; and plan to enjoy life once again when she's moved.
Sounds harsh; but I've lived with more than one RAD in my lifetime.......
Sincerely,
Linny
Well, we went... Didn't want to break tradition for our son. We kept him sleeping with us and her across the room. She did try to get near him and we just made sure we watched until she fell asleep. Stressful, but it was luckily not disastrous. I know we took a big risk. We are hoping it will be over soon. Going to put the request for her to be moved in writing and hope that helps to expedite things.:grr: