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I have been in contact with my Bmom. I am tickled to death to have found her since my adopted mom has passed and I really have no one left from that side of my life. Before my mom could email me my aunt looked me up on facebook and i talked to her for a little bit. My bmom has gotten mad at my aunt for talking to me first. So i had my aunt give her all my information since my caseworker was being the intermediary. I just can't figure out what she is so afraid of to not want to talk on the phone with me. we trade emails and text messages. but it hasnt gotten any further. She says everyone knows about me but now i think i am confused. I want her in my life, but i also understand she has her own life. Does it take time to carve down the fear. anyone have any good advice for me?
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What has always helped me, and isn't always easy, is to think of how my bmom looks at things. While I can't speak to how yours thinks, I can speculate on a few things. Maybe she's more comfortable with the written word so she can take her time to respond. Or maybe hearing your voice makes you more real, and I think a lot of our bmom's have the fear that we will leave. Keeping a little distance keeps them "safer". I know my bmom really wanted some time for just "us". Her entire family knew about me, and she told them when we were in contact, but she didn't want them to contact me yet. It was important to her that she get the chance to know me first. I'd roll with what you have going for now. You have contact. Hopefully she'll grow more comfortable. Good luck!
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