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Hello,
I see there aren't too many people in this particular forum, but I thought I'd say hi and see if there was anyone out there who's been through a similar situation.
We are LDS and are becoming a foster/pre-adoptive placement for a 14 year old boy with special needs. He has been doing weekend visits with our family for about 2 months now and is doing fairly well, although the transitioning is a little difficult for him.
One thing that has been completely amazing to me is how well he is adjusting to going to church. I expected much more difficulty in the beginning (although I'm sure that some rebellion will come in the future). But he is doing really well and showing interest in the gospel and even asking questions. For me, this is just one more confirmation that he is and was always supposed to be part of our family.
So I was just wondering if there were any families out there who took on the task of fostering or adopting older children and how that was for you. Challenges, Excitements.......
I'd also love to hear if any of them accepted the gospel and chose to get baptized after being in your family and if they've been sealed with your family.
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We adopted an almost 4 yr old, and after the honeymoon, she began to triangulate the adults, and manipulate her teachers. It was very unhealthy for her to have success with this, and the Primary teachers didn't really get it. So for a year or so, we skipped the classes after sacrament. Also, as she got older she used to LOVE the idea of a captive audience during testimony meeting, and would get to the pulpit and just ramble, and crack jokes and we had to skip those for a few years. As far as her testimony goes, nothing is taken for granted. I agreed to allow her to decide for herself after she was old enough. So I made sure she was thoroughly taught the gospel. She needed to have a very stable testimony because I could not allow her to be baptized otherwise. As she has grown she has behaved better in church and taken it more seriously. But for awhile it was simply a place with people to manipulate. She didn't really understand the sealing at age 4, but now it is a great source of comfort for her, and totally aided in her bonding and trust issues.
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We have an 18 year old who joined our family two years ago. She bonded to us right away and there is no doubt she is my daughter and was always meant to be my daughter.
Unfortunately she was 'forced' into baptism by the foster family she was in before coming into our home and never really understood the gospel before agreeing to the baptism. Her choice was to be baptized or lose them as a family. Obviously that placement didn't work out anyway. That has caused her 'issues' with wanting to attend at this point.
I think it is very likely that you son feels the spirit and wants to learn more, but make sure his decision to be baptized is for himself and not just to guarantee he won't 'lose' his family if he chooses otherwise.
I have high hopes that my daughter will learn by my example and one day will yearn for the gospel.
Congratulation to you, enjoy your son. Our kids sure do come to us when and how God intended them to.
Wow, thanks for sharing your experience Saxxxy. That's sad that your daughter was "forced" to be baptized. I'm surprised to even hear that she was baptized as a foster child, because I would think that their social worker would have to agree to it, since they are their legal guardian while in fostercare. It will definitely be a while until baptism, for many reasons.... for the reasons you mentioned, know the gospel, not feeling like he "has to be baptized to stay in our family", but also because of his special needs, I would want to make sure he really understands what baptism is and that he's capable of really making that choice himself. I think that's one of the greatest things (and sometimes worst things) about the gospel is that we have the ability to choose for ourselves and that we are responsible for those choices.