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I would like to hear from other women who might have struggled with being bitter and resentful toward your spouse for not wanting the same thing you do. I have tried not to be bitter/resentful and I am still trying, it's just so difficult. We have 4 children. One is from prev. marriage and 3 girls that were difficult due to fertility issues and him not wanting anymore. I have had it on my heart for atleast 6 years to foster/adopt and it's on my heart and mind almost everyday. I have been so patient and I pray all the time that God would take this desire away, but it never goes away and my husband is like a brick wall. I almost always say nothing to him because it doesn't do any good. I have been taking the steps ever ever so slowly, I've filled out the big packet of paperwork twice and been to all the classes (myself) but, he will never take the next steps with me. It's so frustrating. I KNOW we have to be in this together. If you have any encouragement to offer, I'd appreciate it.
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My history is interesting to say the least....I have 2 bio boys, went through fertility issues (DH's) for 3 years and we finally conceived our boys. I had many early pregnancy failures and 1 actual M/C. I grew up with my bio Mom, Step-Dad and my adoptive Dad (who I found out was not my bio Dad when I was in my 20's) I also, briefly saw my BioDad and just met my other sister on his side last spring. So basically I have my feet in both adoption and the biological side. I have many siblings on both sides...and now am 1 of 12 kids after you tally in all the siblings. It nuts really! Why am I telling you all this...well as a Christian woman and Christian family I have always wanted to adopt....I have been married to my DH for almost 20 years and have been with him since I was 16 years old and I am now 40! I used to beg him to consider adoption, after all he spent his entire childhood knowing his chance of having kids was almost impossible, I didn't have any issues...yet he wouldn't budge. This talking to him, begging, etc went on for almost a decade. I began things when my youngest was a toddler...my boys are now 14 and 16 this month. My desire was ALWAYS for International Adoption. Latin American..but again, he wouldn't budge so finally.....:dance: I talked him into Foster Care/Adoption. I was SO excited yet still a bit disappointed I admit because I really STILL wanted to adopt INTERNATIONALLY..but overall I was thrilled that he would even consider anything at that point. So there I was, DH on board in 2009, things with the homestudy went SO smoothly and within days we were getting calls for all kinds of kids, babies mostly, which strangely is not what I felt I could handle....and eventually we accepted a 6 year old boy. He was sweet, he did have issues, but in the end it was obvious that my kids and DH just weren't doing well with the whole foster care thing. It was a devastating blow to realize this was not the right thing for our family. Again, I sat there upset.....I KNEW that I KNEW God was calling our family to adopt but how.....IN the end, it took DH 3 more years and one video, from Third Day-Children of God to convince my DH that HE wanted to move forward again, but this time he felt God calling us to adopt from CHINA. I was floored! HUH? So that IS what we are doing right now....half way through the process..now he is excited and I am the one saying....really...China...you couldn't be called to adopt someplace closer!!!!!:rolleyes: So what I am telling you is Don't GIVE UP! If God is in things it will work out. If it is TRULY his Will...then he will change your husbands heart and if it isn't his will he will change your heart. I can tell you after all that my DH and I have been through regarding having children, and trying to expand our family ( I still can have bio kids too but have chosen not to over the years) I know without a doubt ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE! Just begin to pray to God with an open heart asking him to reveal his plan for your family and know that if what you ask is right for your family....it can happen for you. I can't tell you how many websites and posts I showed to my DH about adoption before he came along side and agreed it was the right thing for our family. My DH always says, men just don't see things as we women do...and that it took me giving him lots of time to come around..and thankfully he did and it is so neat to see him SO excited about our soon to be new addition. Again, Just don't give up until God says its time too......my DH now says how he regrets not doing it sooner.....:grr: but he also jokes...better late then never...and I couldn't agree more! :D God Bless and Remember with God all things are possible!