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Hello, for the past month or so, I've been working with a search angel to help me find contact information for my birth mother. She was quickly able to find what I think are former addresses and phone numbers, and I recently was able to find what I think is a current phone number. I have asked the search angel to help me find a physical address associated with that phone number.
Here's my issue. The search angel has repeatedly suggested to me that I call my birth mother, even though I have repeatedly stated that I would prefer to write a letter. The search angel finally gave in and basically gave me permission to write, and said that the "supervisor" (for lack of a better term) would help me write the letter. I have also been encouraged to write several letters and mail them to every address we've been able to find for my birth mother, including where she works. I still have not received her current address.
A lot of this has sent up red flags. I almost felt bullied into making a phone call instead of writing a letter, and now I feel as though I won't get a current address until I agree to the multiple-letter idea. I've also tried really hard to consider my birth mother's feelings but I don't think the search angel feels the same way. I have never worked with a search angel before. Am I over-reacting? Is this normal? I'm very grateful for the work that's already been done, and I know search angels are volunteers, so I don't want to be completely pushy about this, but something about this just doesn't feel right. Any advice is much appreciated!
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Reunion is a life changing event and how you make contact can sometimes make or break a reunion. You are right to follow YOUR gut feeling. I always encourage those I am working with to give how and when they make contact a lot of thought and to follow their gut feeling. Unfortunately I cannot always give them contact options. Sometimes all I can come up with is a fb acct. and I hate fb / e-mail for 1st contact. I cannot speak for other search angels but I suspect that many are like me in that they enjoy the challenge of beating the system that keeps our records from us. I often follow gut feelings, sometimes even feel that a Higher Power is guiding me. I get excited with each find and cant wait to hear that I helped contribute to a successful reunion. Maybe your search angel is young / inexperienced, a phone call worked perfectly for her assuming that she is reunited, doesnҒt yet realize or understand how important it is for YOU to listen to your gut feelings too. I don't understand the "supervisor" part that must help you with your letter and sending letters to a bunch of addresses, including where she works and can certainly understand why that idea doesn't seem right to you lol. Sometimes another set of eyes can help find an elusive address. I can send you my e-mail address so you can send me your information and would be glad to take a look if you like.
:wings:
notjessica
Hello, for the past month or so, I've been working with a search angel to help me find contact information for my birth mother. She was quickly able to find what I think are former addresses and phone numbers, and I recently was able to find what I think is a current phone number. I have asked the search angel to help me find a physical address associated with that phone number.
Here's my issue. The search angel has repeatedly suggested to me that I call my birth mother, even though I have repeatedly stated that I would prefer to write a letter. The search angel finally gave in and basically gave me permission to write, and said that the "supervisor" (for lack of a better term) would help me write the letter. I have also been encouraged to write several letters and mail them to every address we've been able to find for my birth mother, including where she works. I still have not received her current address.
A lot of this has sent up red flags. I almost felt bullied into making a phone call instead of writing a letter, and now I feel as though I won't get a current address until I agree to the multiple-letter idea. I've also tried really hard to consider my birth mother's feelings but I don't think the search angel feels the same way. I have never worked with a search angel before. Am I over-reacting? Is this normal? I'm very grateful for the work that's already been done, and I know search angels are volunteers, so I don't want to be completely pushy about this, but something about this just doesn't feel right. Any advice is much appreciated!
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