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Since Illinois is releasing original birth certificates as of last november, i finally got mine a week ago. I was adopted at almost 5, privately. i have made a few recconections over the years, but no one would give me much information. Now that i ran a background report on my father, it shows that he is using an alias... i was thinking maybe the report was bogus, but it listed my bio mother as a relative, and i never gave that name to the site, and it also listed one of his former properties as the same address that is listed on my birth certificate... Should i try and contact this person? ive looked around, and he uses his wifes last name and has 3 kids... why would he use an alias? ive waited most of my life for this... i basicly have no family... my adopted father wanted nothing to do with me since i was 9, and my adopted mother is SICK in the head... i cant even be around her! i was adopted in 1994 in Arkasas through an agency... :thanks:
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I'd make sure you're understanding the various definitions of "alias" before you get concerned that your birthfather is using one.
One definition is "a false or assumed identity". THAT would be worrisome.
But another definition is "an indication that the named person is also known (or more familiarly known) by a different name". And that one is no big deal at all.
In fact, my maiden name has shown up as my "alias" in a few internet searches I've done on myself. And definately anyone who had a name change done as an adult is going to have their old name show up as an alias. A friend of mine who goes by a nickname that isn't part of his legal name has that one listed as an "alias".
So, all that said, I would not let the mere presence of an "alias" listed in a background search change any plans I had regarding contact. You can always ask about it later, and use the truth about it to determine future contact.
Hang in there!
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I don't know how old you are. I don't know what kind of support system you have in your life. I don't know how capable you are of standing your ground, etc.So, as I don't know you, I can't give you any solid advice.All I know is that I decided before I received my OBC that I was going in no matter what I found. I knew I was strong enough to withstand anything that came at me.My dad is a bit dodgy. I recently contacted him. Our discussions are going well, but I'm not going to visit him until I know more about him and until someone else can go with me. As far as I am concerned, he gave me half my DNA. I want to know about him--the good and the bad. But, that's just me. The most important thing is to keep yourself safe emotionally and physically.
im 23. I dont have family per se, but i have support and am in counseling... i have always been very curious, and i am prepared for the truth, but i can only fing a landline number, shared with his wife and kids... so i just dont know what to say, if i should explain it to his wife if she answers the phone, etc. I dont want any drama that is completely uprooted, but i have wanted to know about him for years... Will i hurt his wife? is she even aware? will they both deny me and the whole situation? just dont know how to approach them or start this thing off... thanks for the replies!
Have you tried looking him, his wife, his kids up on Facebook? Some people leave their FB wide open, and you might be able to figure some other things out about him, such as where he works.Someone else on this site mentioned that (contacting at work) might be the best way to contact fathers. Have you considered a confidential intermediary? That individual would be a buffer that could keep you safe, and s/he would hopefully be skilled in how to contact him without drawing undue attention.
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I might try messaging him on FB prior to phoning him.It might be more private than phoning him. (Granted, since you wouldn't be FB friends, he may not be aware of the "other" messages section on FB, and he may not get it, but it might be worth a shot.)But, since you think he might be a bit dodgy, I would recommend creating a separate FB account just to contact him.