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My wife is adopted (1956) and found her birthmom last year. Everything has been very positive except that birthmom refuses to identify BF and it is not on the original birth certificate.
I asked my "new" mother-in-law privately why and she said it is too painful and she does not want to talk about it...period.
My wife is grateful to have her mother back in her life and all other aspects of reunion have been great, but my wife still has a nagging question mark in her heart and wonders why she can't know her BF's identity. She has not pushed the subject with her birthmom, I think, to avoid losing her again or causing her more pain if it was something really awful that led to the pregnancy, (rape,etc.).
I don't know how to help her with this.
Thots???
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Your wife should consider asking her birth mother to share more with her about her birthfather, when she is ready. Perhaps open the door, but don't force the issue. In reunion, things take time, esp. painful things. Good luck.
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I really don't know.
My mother was kind enough to tell me my father's name.
But, I might try it from a medical angle. Do you think her b-mom would be willing to give his name if your wife stressed that she wanted to contact his family for their medical histories?
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