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HI to the List,
My husband and I are contemplating an adoption from Colombia. This is my first time posting to this board.
Due to our ages we would get a slightly older child older toddler-school age. From what we understand the kids in Colombia, as per our agency would be living in a foster care home setting. I remember a friend who adopted from Guatemala. At that time the kids were mostly in foster homes and tended to do well.
My biggest anxiety about moving ahead is the fear of dealing with RAD reactive attachment disorder. Is it less likely that kids in a foster care setting would develop extreme RAD versus older kids in an orphanage setting? Has anyone here adopted a slightly older child (meaning 4-6 years old?)
We have experience with intl. adoption before. Our daughter was adopted from Russia, but she was a baby so she really didn't have any attachment issues the be concerned about.
All inputs appreciated,
Thanks and I hope you all have a good holiday.
Amy K, NJ
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Hello Amy,Last year, we adopted two children (ages 5 & 6 at the time), who were in a foster home. Our children seem to be adjusting and attaching well. I could be wrong, but it seems that RAD issues depend on a lot of factors (birth home environment, foster home environment, etc). I don't have a specific answer for you, sorry.Rebecca
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Hi there my wife and I are starting the process. Can I ask a few questions?
Are you Colombian descent? My wife is and we hear that it will speed up the process. Just wondering.
Who did you use for the US agency? Did you like them? We are still looking.
What city did you adopt from?any reason that city? We would like to Adopt from bucaramanga And I am just wondering about your experience.
Amy:
Attachment disorders range from mild to severe. Many attachment issues can be resolved over time, either simply by living in a family or by working with a good attachment therapist. Severe RAD -- where the child fails to develop a conscience or to attach at all to his/her family -- is actually quite rare. Kids with severe RAD may never be able to live in a family, and especially one with other children, and may need to live in a facility with 24 hour security and intensive therapy.
Most attachment disorders are believed to occur because of broken bonds of trust between child and caregiver or parent. In some children, they will occur simply because the birthparent placed him/her for adoption -- regardless of whether he/she goes to an orphanage or to a foster home. Other children, more resilient, won't develop attachment disorders even if there is abuse or neglect and even if they have multiple caregivers before adoption.
In many ways, children in foster homes are LESS likely to have attachment issues than those in orphanages, because they are more likely to have a foster parent who develops a nurturing relationship with them. Children in orphanages, who may be cared for by a succession of people, none of whom really has the time to develop a parent-like bond with them, are more likely to have attachment issues.
Do not mistake grieving for an attachment problem. Grief is normal. The child who has developed a close relationship to a foster parent will grieve terribly for that person upon adoption. In the long run, however, that child will be MORE likely to develop a secure attachment to the adoptive parent than a child who has never managed to have a close relationship with a parent or caregiver.
Sharon