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First all, there are more then just "ladies" here. :evilgrin: So I go away for a while and a whole bunch of new names pop up. :D. I have been working on a book about my experiences adopting 10 sons. I have writer's block around 2006. That was when V joined us. This started a very rough time for the family.If only foresight was 20/20. I haven't decided what to call the book. I was thinking "one long train wreck". ;)
J1 is 29. Sadly, he has learned if he is lazy the system will take care of him. He is always trying to find ways for the government will take care of him.
J2 (25) is doing well. He works for a company up north. He was with his last employer two years. He is engaged to be married next year to a wonderful girl.
M1 (24) is in prison. I had gotten him a good attorney when he had gotten caught in an armed robbery. He had gotten home detention. He violated that and they sent him to prison. He got caught with marijuanna in prison?! They took away his early release and added six months. He may be free in 2014. I expected so much more from him.
L (23) moved back east to his biological family. They let him live there without paying anything. Something I don't allow. He has a son that was born in February. Of course, he doesn't pay child support.
M2 (23) is gone. He has separated himself from the family. He ended up like I expected..drugs, alcohol, and petty crimes.
J3 (21) helps me a lot. He is working. J3 is also engagedto be married next year to a girl he has been with for almost 5 years. He is quite a young man, considering what he came from.
C (20) still struggles. He has a baby girl, who he can't see because of a restraining order. He told me last week that his new girlfriend is pregnant. He isn't helping take care of the first one! He doesn't have a job and has gotten evicted for the third time for partying! I am very disappointed where his life is.
V (20) ran from the police and now has a warrant out for his arrest. He got got in the state where he ran for a separate issue. My home state did not extradite him and they knew he had been caught? They released him,so he thinks he is invinceable now. He also has a baby he doesn't help with. I am afraid it is a matter of time before he goes to prison for a long time.
S (15) struggles with what V taught him. It was not good. His mother died unexpectedly three weeks ago. She was only 54. They said a "failed heart"...code for drug overdose. S don't get it. He said smoking "trees" is different. And since we don't live in WA or CO, thatis illegal. S is lazy. He has this air of entitlement.
J4 (11) is doing well. He was chosen as the student of the month for the 5th grade in October. I am dealing with some tween stuff, nothing I can't handle. He seems to think that I haven't seen this stuff before. He forgets he is number 10 son. I have seen just about everything.
I read the posts from a lot of the new people and see my life in theirs. It saddens me greatly when I see families struggling with children that have flipped their lives upside down. I know if I could "do over", there would be less sons. I am very thankful for the friends I have met here. They have listened to my b*******.
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Hmm...if you do title your book One Long Train Wreck it might sell just because they say that people can't NOT stop and stare.... On the other hand, maybe something a little less descriptive might still fit the bill. :evilgrin:I'm glad you gave an update. ((hugs)) and ongoing prayers over the sheep that have gone astray, and celebrating with you over the good reports, too. :)Ten sons! Who knew when you started out, huh?? ;)
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I am sad for the sons not doing well and happy for the few that are. I will add my own update.S- 19 is in college, after a rocky start seems to be doing better. We are struggling with laziness and having to put down the game controller and go to school or study. He is running out of money and taking a long time to find a job. He also really wants to get engaged next year. (his gf is still in hs, graduating this year and I made him promise to give any girl he married a year on her own first.) The girl has already been accepted to his college, she is not lazy and maybe she will be a good influence on him. W - 17 is a senior, he is working, sometimes two jobs, he is directing the school play, picked up a fourth instrument to help the band out this year, is in robatics club and gets all A's. He has been accepted to a small college because he wants to do psychology (and specialize in RAD) and knows he needs an advanced degree so wants to start at a smaller place to save money. He has already been offered two jobs in that town. I have high hopes for him. He is also teaching some dance. Is manager of our local movie theater and works part time at a B&B plus does odd jobs for the elderly. p-13 is in 8th grade. She is getting A's and B's but works really hard for the. It does not come easy. Her life is centered around dance right now and teenage girl drama. She is thinking of trying out for cheerleading but keeps freaking out that her jumps are not good enough. Her prosthetic legs are heavy. The drama may kill me. M- 12 is in sixth grade and doing much better. The middle school is good for him because they don't let him get away with stuff. He has tried and does lunch detention about once a week. He is eating enough that his life is no longer in danger, but he is still small and will always stay small I think. He still plays games with food, but I am ignoring it. He still lies a lot. He is getting better about the rages and steals less. He is faking affection because some girl in his class told him that it was not normal to hate your mom and lectured him that normal kids love their mom and stuff. Since he wants people to think he is normal he has started telling me he loves me and stuff. I don't believe it. But hey, he may be able to fake it till he makes it. He has been here 6 years and is not fully attached. He still has a very fluid sense of right and wrong, it has to do with if you get caught. He is still emotionally immature and does not make good decisions much of the time, so still needs pretty close supervision. However, I am starting to have hope. Anyway, that's my update.
Lorraine, have y'all seen this?
[url=http://www.cbssports.com/collegefootball/blog/eye-on-college-football/20545487/arkansas-cheerleader-with-prosthetic-leg-nominated-for-orange-bowlfwaa-courage-award]Arkansas cheerleader with prosthetic leg nominated for Orange Bowl-FWAA Courage Award - CBSSports.com[/url]
very awesome. she should know by now that she can do anything she wants--they're just legs, after all! it's the heart that counts.
Indy, it be what it be. we can't control our kids, can't change them. we can offer guidance, but can't make them take it. but you have made an impression or even an impact on the guys' lives. you may never see what it was, but it's there. and it's good.
their denial of it doesn't make it any less so.
Indy...(((hugs))) If only we could make kids see the future so they could turn their lives around while they are still young. My oldest is doing well but she's convinced I'm as dumb as a box of rocks. I'm "too old" to understand. If only.. The sad things, decades down the road, they'll look back and wish they had listened to you. I'm looking forward to the book! Trainwreck's a great name! Momraine: Tell P to go for it! Even kids without prosthetics are worrying about their jumps. Does she do gymnastics? It will help.
I still float around here but don't post much. Indy, I'm sorry so many of your sons have made life so hard. They never warned us it could be like this.My update is short.J(13)- stills goes to his private school for LD. He can read now and is doing much better academically. School is going well overall. His autism is our main focus now. It's far worse than we thought and his current therapist categorizes him as severe. We're been told by the professionals to expect him to live with us as an adult and possibly never be fully independent. This was very hard to hear.H(8)is is my dancer extraordinaire! She was accepted to the placement program this year and in addition to getting straight As, she dances 6 hours a week.M(6) graduated from special ed last summer and is doing kindergarten as a typical child. He still has challenges with his SPD, but he's managing himself to the point that he isn't even on the teacher's radar. Still, overall, things are okay for us. I know they could be far worse.
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Ya, if you want some interesting reading, go back through Indy's posts over the last decade... I would love to read your book, Indy. I hope your writer's block passes :) I have also stopped by adoption.com to see what's up but haven't been as active here as I used to be. J is still in jail since August, he is now 18, but will be released soon... and M is now 9, in 3rd grade and is doing very well in his self-contained classroom for children with autism. He is even reading a little bit!!