Identity and Birthparents

I have a relationship with my family but my mother had already passed away...I do not have a relationship with my father. Growing up my mother was more in my mind that my father ever was - he was more abstract in my mind if that makes any sense. When I got sick and the doctors told me that no only did I need my family health history so they could protect me in the future, but, that I also needed to advise my family of my disease to protect them - my mother and family had my primary fear/concern and only after I had advised them, did I next concern myself about finding my father. Saying all that - it hurt that my father couldn't even be bothered to provide me with my family health history or answer any questions about my story. You can't take away the hurt but you can walk along side of the child and acknowledge the hurt... Even with that - I still wanted to know my paternal ancestors and have researched and found the answers I needed there, or almost anyway. My research into my maternal ancestors is far more complex and complete and knowing other family members has certainly allowed that knowledge to be expanded. Funny though between mom and dad - my interest and time spent on their family trees - dad's is the one I am interested in the most and have spent far more time on probably a 1000/1 comparison. As to how to deal with the father doing something bad. Teachable moments throughout childhood about choices in many areas. Specifically can you show his parents (grandparents), or other close family members, made different choices than the father did? So he doesn't think he is bad because he is 50% from him - not coming out right but hopefully makes sense. If not, can you show it in your family (or show it in multiple families) how choices really determine who you are? Kind regards,Dickons