What to do

Flamingo, I share your pain. My wife and I are in the same place as you. We were expecting to travel in late January. We've been looking at other options (another country, a domestic, etc). But it's all going to come down to the cost and how much our agency will help us. Right now they're telling us to just sit tight and wait to see what happens. I guess we don have much of a choice in the matter.... As for feeling lost, I know. I'm about ready to just give up on the whole process. Who knows, though, maybe this too shall come to pass... My heart goes out to everyone who has already accepted their referral and was awaiting a court date or travel home.

Flamingomama- I am not in process but was when all the accrediation issues were going on. I remember like it was yesterday how it felt to not know what to do and not have answers to the most basic questions. My advice is to hang on for a little while longer. See what happens when the countries actually talk to each other. Waiting in adoption is so hard to start with and adding this uncertainity just magnifies that. My gut (or maybe my heart) wants to believe that this will not be the end of the story for children coming to the US. Jmom72- The old FRUA chat board did close down but there is a new one. You have to be a member of FRUA though to go to it now. When I was in process it was a very helpful as a resource and finding out what other people were hearing from their agencies. I don't know how active it is now with the changes. I do think there is a Facebook page as well and I think some of the old FRUA people have done something as well. Sending positive thoughts for all of you in process.

My husband and I are in the same place too. We were planning to travel on trip 1 in February. We already feel so attached to Russia through all of our studying over the past 8 months about the culture, geography and language. We don't feel ready to change programs and start all over again. We are so sad for all of the children. We do not know anyone in the same place as us right now, so I am happy to see the support here. We are praying for some small chance that everyone already involved will have 1 year to finish. We are also so nervous to deal with such an unstable country...

Dear Waiter, thanks for your information about FRUA. I"m on some Russian adoption parents site on Facebook. It may be the old Frua, I don't know. LOL Hi Riley, I hope you get the support you need on here in the weeks and months to come. Hopefully in the upcoming weeks we will see if folks will get a year to finish their adoptions. If not perhaps your agency has other domestic or other country programs you can look at/be eligible for. My heart goes out to you. Amy K, NJ

Hi there, We are in the same boat, just submitted the second HS last week, registered and next in line in the region. My adoption agency tells us that we must have hope. I am feeling so lost and sad. Thank you all for reaching out.

We suffered through the 1 year 9 month accreditation ordeal as well. But unlike this situation, at least we were assured that adoptions would continue. I would look into other country options, but stay registered in Russia in case this blows over. But the fact they passed a law, rather than just put some administrative HOLD on the process is concerning. On the discussion that it would take a year to take effect, that doesn't sound logical. They either want to halt them or they don't.

There IS a new FRUA board, but traffic is non-existant (54 threads in 8 months). Do not understand why they let a great resource die off.

Thank you all for your information on the FRUA site. While there were a few rude posters there the site was invaluable in terms of information. I feel for you CROI, I wish I could give you advice but sadly I have none. Amy K, NJ

Thanks JMom, I think we will stay regiestered in Russia for now - but have to be realistic. I have started researching domestic adoption - overwhelmed with all the options. CROI NY

HI CROI, Somehow it's somewhat easier for me because I already have one child home. I told my husband I really wanted to adopt again. So I've been looking into various programs for the past two months and we thought maybe Russia again because the program met the criteria we were looking for, and we met their criteria (until all this happened). It sounds like you are doing a good thing, keeping your hand in Russia while looking into other options. Are there adoption professionals giving you advice? I don't know what criteria you are looking for, but we'd be looking for a 2 or 3 yr. old and in a program with a short wait time (1-1.5 years, many programs are now 36 -48mo. wait) and I'm not seeing anything viable out there for us. So I feel kind of discouraged in my own way. Try to keep up the hope that a child will come into your life and continue to talk to adoption professionals who can give you the best advice on the most likely way to become parents. Hang in there. I know it's discouraging. Amy K NJ

We arent sure what we're going to do. Our agency told us to wait it out that it probably wont be permanent, but im not so sure. We've been looking into domestic, Ukraine, and Poland's program. But Russia has our hearts, so we just arent sure. I just cant believe this is happening.

Since this decision came down, I have been researching other countries, but my husband really doesn't want to consider any other programs. He says (and for now I do agree) that we need to wait and get more information. I know that we do, but I also don't want to just wait and wait. Not only do we not want her to feel like an only child because our boys are older, but we also can't afford to just wait indefinitely. I have looked a little at the programs in Serbia and Poland, but I just don't know. I do still feel at this point that our little girl is in Russia and until I'm led in another direction we will stay where we are, but it's so hard. From what I have read, the year wait to enact this law is not going to happen, and it's so hard to tell how long it will last....ugh...

Thanks for your kind words JMom - I agree that there is n't a comparable adoption route to Russia. I am open to an infant/young child so I think domestic is where we need to go. Several of my friends have adopted from Russia successfully which gave me a certain comfort level. I really know nothing about the domestic route- it is very daunting trying to find a reputable agency/lawyer.

I know its so hard to accept that our Russian journey could end so abruptly. I agree that we must wait and see - but the fact that a law was passed makes it so much more final. Like you I cant afford to wait another year- and there is no guarantee when or how Russia will open their adoption program. The whole situation is so frustrating.

Waiting is hard, but it is all we have right now. Don't be too upset with the agency. They honestly do not know any more than we do right now. As you know, Russia is now on their holiday break. We will probably have to wait 2 weeks before we hear any news to any amendments or exceptions that they may make after talks with the US. I think we now know that any "agreement" or contracts that Russia has made in the past were just empty promises, so the 12 month thing is probably not going to happen. The US is trying to work it out with Russia though, so let's keep hoping and praying that they will turn this around. We are hoping they will allow the adoptions in progress to finish, but if not, then hopefully they will lift the ban sooner rather than later. I may be wrong, but I think I remember reading that the last time Russia placed a ban on US adoptions it lasted 6 months, and then they resumed them again. There is always hope. God parted the Red Sea for the Isrealites when it seemed there was no way out. Even though it seems hopeless, he can make a way! My husband and I have talked about what to do if they absolutely will not budge and our son is left over there indefinitely. We will wait and hope and pray that he will be able to come home to us....if it ends up taking years, we may look into domestic or other countries, but we promised him to his adorable little face that we would be back for him. Even if we adopt another child elsewhere while we are waiting....the moment Russia opens back up, we are coming for him!